


More Than Just a Pretty Face

by Dezziebelle



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe Big Bang, Dislike to Lovers, Game Show Drama, Game Shows, Happy Ending, M/M, Paramedic Dean, Professor Castiel, Rated T for language, Reality TV, beauty and the geek, rated for sexual comments/language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 22:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9145195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dezziebelle/pseuds/Dezziebelle
Summary: When 'Beauty and the Geek' comes back for its sixth season Balthazar begs Dean to send in a casting tape. Dean does with no expectation to actually be on the show. He pairs up with Castiel Novak, a professor of theology that has almost no social skills and little “nerdy” knowledge, and they nearly instantly take a dislike to each other. However, there’s a mutual attraction neither can deny there, too.  Can they get past their opinions of each other in order to win the cash prize and, maybe, find out you can’t always judge a book by its over? [AUBB 2016]





	1. Episode One

**Author's Note:**

> Holy crap. HAPPY NEW YEAR! You know what that means? (2016 is over, yes,) it's time for AUBB posting! This AUBB has been an undertaking that has spanned months in the making and I couldn't've done it without a whole lotta people. 
> 
> First, reaperlove77 has been so incredible to work with and I hope we remain friends! Check her out over on her [Tumblr!](https://reaperlove77.tumblr.com/) Take a gander at her [AO3 here!](http://archiveofourown.org/users/reaperlove) Take a look at her [ART MASTERPOST](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9146950), it's phenomenal! Please go give her comments and kudos <3
> 
> Second, my best friend in the entire universe Amanda. She'll probably never see this, but she helped me brainstorm when I was struggling. Marianna -- for being there to help hammer out issues and to play with ideas for both original fic and this fic. Countless friends that I've talked to and tossed ideas at. Or just asked for support. 
> 
> Thank you to the [Alternate Universe Big Bang](http://spn-au-big-bang.tumblr.com/) mods for hosting this challenge!
> 
> This fic is one giant fluff fest and was my go-to when sh*t got real in my real life. There's a lot of issues that I'm aware of, and may in the future come back to fix. Most of the time, tense switching is intentional (but at times I just made giant oopsies). This fic has no beta, all mistakes are my own. Please, do not take facts presented in this fic at face value, for the research I did my information may still be factually incorrect. 
> 
> That being said, enjoy!

The camera pans over a well-manicured lawn before pulling away to show a giant mansion with twenty people split evenly between the gilded front doors and a large balcony overlooking the drive. A stout man stands in the drive, holding a lollipop in one hand and smiling up at the cloudless sky. The camera cuts close to his face as he turns his gaze on the camera.

“This season we have a surprise for the audience, the Beauties, and the Geeks! These ten Geeks,” Gabriel Angelus’ voice narrates as the shot cuts to the ten geeks standing on the balcony before cutting to their casting tapes.

A man with perpetual brunette sex hair and cerulean eyes, with the name plate Castiel Novak, fidgets on an overstuffed chair in what could be graciously called an office with no window. His gaze darts from the camera to somewhere just out of view before returning to the camera. “I finished my PhD in religious studies a few years back and I haven’t really had much of a social life.”

The image cuts to another Geek. This one, in contrast to Castiel, is laid back. A cool, if frighteningly so, expression gives nothing away. Of what little of the living room that can be seen is Spartan, colored in browns and creams, and Lucifer Angelus is sitting on an expensive looking couch. “I’ve never had an issue getting laid, unlike most of the Geeks on this show,” his baritone voice is just touched with elongated vowels, cold enough to give the impression of danger. “I’m in law school but I know how to cut loose and have fun.”

Kevin Tran taps nervously on his leg. He’s in an impeccably well maintained and designed living room, a handcrafted cello sitting against his leg. “I was valedictorian in high school so my time has always been prioritized for education. I spend my free time playing the cello.  I have plans to be the valedictorian of my college graduating class.”

Ed Zeddmore grins as he lays his chin on an upturned hand, sitting in a mockery of a regal red velvet chair. “You might already know who I am, I produce and star in Ghost Facers. That’s really taken up a lot of my time from meeting the ladies.”

Samandriel “Alfie” sits uncomfortably in a too-large recliner against a white wall. “I’ve always been seen as the kid brother to everyone I’ve ever been friends with,” he says with a shrug. “Never really stuck out with overachieving brothers.”

Chuck Shurley nibbles at his lip and rubs absently at his neck, appearing kind of like a Yorkie that wet the carpet while his owner was away. “I’m a writer… Yeah. The most action I get is a hangover from whiskey or from Mistress Magna.” He grimaces and turns away to knock back a tumbler of amber liquid.

A shy, blushing young man, Cyrus Stein, sits on a surgical table with a full staff of nurses behind him. “My brothers and father want me to do my best so I’ve spent most of my time with my schooling to be a surgeon. I’m almost out of residency.”

Ash grins as he kicks back on a billiard table in what looks like a trucker’s dive bar, beer can in hand and pierces the bottom before taking a healthy chug. He belches and pushes back his hair, “Dr. Badass is in.”

A woman grins widely, surrounded by collectibles from multiple fandoms spanning from Dr. Who to Harry Potter to World of Warcraft to Revolution. “Hi _radio edit_! I’m Charlie, queen of Moons.” She winks lewdly as she remarks, “I guarantee I’ve slept with more women than all the Geeks. Combined.” There’s a definitely feminine giggle from off camera.

Another woman, Becky Rosen, smiles timidly; her expression remarkably similar to a frightened doe. “I’m a writer. Honestly, I just stay inside when I can and write about my OTPs and watch TV. I don’t really… care for real guys.”

Gabriel returns front and center, popping the lolly from his mouth. “And these ten Beauties,” he continues as the camera pans out to show the Beauties on the stairs up to the porch. They’re all in swim wear with various amounts of skin showing.

The shot cuts to Dean Winchester relaxing back against an ambulance with the red and blue lights flashing in his tight fitting blue uniform, a medical patch on his shoulder and breast. “I got the good looks while my baby brother got the brains to land him a full ride to Stanford law,” he chuckles, a light southern accent just adding some twang to his words. “Most of my time is taken by my job so I don’t have a ton of time to go out, and my shifts don’t really lend themselves to keeping romance or my social life alive.” Out of the view of the camera someone yells _“time to roll Winchester!”_ He hops into the back of the ambulance as the sirens wail and they’re off.

Bela Talbot sits primly in a high backed chair at what appears to be a fully stocked wet bar. “I’m coming from across the pond,” her accented voice is void of emotion. “I’m looking to expand my business and take North America by storm. I’m much more savvy than everyone else on this show.”

Anna tilts her head a fraction, wavy red hair spilling down over her shoulders. “I’m Anael Milton, but please call me Anna. I’m on set or doing PR for Dr. Sexy, MD most of the year. I usually read in my spare time,” she says in a soft, delicate voice.

Jo waves at the camera from a leather couch in a blank white room, a careless smirk on the blonde’s lips. “I work for my mom at her roadhouse and hustle dumb truckers that think they can beat me at poker because I’m a pretty face.”

Megan Masters’ lazy smirk oozes confidence, but all mirth is belied by the chilliness of her not-quite-smile. She’s sprawled against a dark couch spotlighted in a dark room. “Hello lovelies. I’m in this to win it and I’m a sore loser,” the brunette drawls like it’s her last care in the world.

Lilith’s rose is wrinkled by a wide grin. “I really like to party hard.” The casting tape cuts abruptly.

Cassie Robinson sits at a cluttered desk, curly hair left natural to fall around her shoulders. She smirks, giving the camera a sarcastic salute. “I’m a journalist and I get to the _real_ truth that the media doesn’t want to air.”

Ruby sits cross-legged on a plush bed, expression curious. “When I’m not cheering for the Wolf Pack or at a home game, I’m either practicing or studying.”

Cole Trenton stands at attention outside a shooting range, a PA system crackling to life and calling for a cease fire. His smile is nearly feral. “I spend most of my time either on base, at the range, or at a bar.”

Krissy Chambers smiles but it’s decidedly jaded. “I’m not some dumb bleach blonde bimbo like most of the Beauties in the previous seasons.”

Gabriel’s voice returns as the camera pans over the two groups again. “These two groups are from two completely different words, and those words are bout to collide.

“This is not a dating show, this is a social experiment: to see if these Beauties can turn these Geeks into social superstars and if these Geeks can make these Beauties more than just a pretty face.

“The Geeks will have to learn skills such as self-confidence, trendy fashion, and interior design. The Beauties will have to learn self-reliance, how to skillfully argue in a public forum, and subject material they didn’t believe that they could learn.

“Can people with nothing in common learn from each other and find out you can’t always judge a book by its over?” The screen pops up with the show logo as the intro closes, “find out what happens when you bring together the Beauty and the Geek.”

The camera cuts back to a grinning Gabriel. “Hey guys, I’m Gabriel Angelus, and welcome to your new home!”

<<<<>>>> 

 _Five Months Earlier_ _…_

“Dean, darling, please hear me out,” Balthazar’s smooth, heavily accented, voice came over the Bluetooth earpiece connected to his phone. Dean rubbed at his face, leaning into a palm as he let out an exasperated sigh. His lunch, a _very manly thank you very much_ salad unsurprisingly packed by Sammy, sat ignored next to him on the bumper of the idling ambulance in bay one.

“Why Balth?” He finally responded. Benny glanced over at him from where he was taking stock of supplies before their shift began.

“Because we can’t find the right guys for our season twist and you’d be absolutely perfect!”

“And you didn’t have Gabe call me,” he paused, “because?” He drew the vowels out as he waved off Benny when the man made an abortive move to cross over to Dean.

“Because I actually want you to send in a casting video? Please, Dean, the winners get $250,000 each. That’s enough to pay off of any extra loans Sammy had to have taken out, living expenses, the likes.” Ooooh cheap shot, abusing his ingrained duty to his little brother. Dean stood for a moment before collapsing back onto the bumper and grabbed his salad, stabbing the leaves with a little more force than necessary.

“I suppose that’s a good enough reason,” he let the held breath out in an explosive sigh, rubbing at his eyes with one hand. “Fine, I’ll send in a video, but I doubt they’ll want me. I’m not exactly a Geek.”

“You don’t have to be,” Balth said, cryptically, before giving what sounded like a wet air kiss. “Thank you Dean, the casting directors will love you!” And he hung up with a perfunctory farewell.

“You gonna tell the rest of the class what that was all about?” Bobby asked from his office, the gold lettering on the window reading FIRE CHIEF. Benny is still looking at him with that nosy, ready-to-spread-gossip look.

Dean rolled his eyes but slouched back as he took a large bite of his salad. Soon, he replied, “you know that social experiment show… Beauty and the Geek?” Benny’s eyebrows shot up and Garth, who was cleaning the fire engine, looked over curiously. Bobby’s eyebrows knit together.

“You didn’t.” Benny said, voice carefully monotone, biting serendipitously at his bottom lip to fight a smile. Bobby is still looking like he’s not sure what’s going on.

“Nope. I didn’t. But it looks like I’m sending in a casting video.”

 <<<<>>>> 

Dean floated quietly in the pool while the other Beauties chattered between themselves. The sun was beating down hard on them, forcing them to the water-side to try and get some relief from the heat. He still wasn’t sure what he was doing here, the other Beauties – yeah, some fucking twist, -- were far prettier (not that he’d _ever_ use that adjective to describe himself, it sounded much too like the adjectives much older guys he used to sneak around with would use) than himself.

“Hey Beauties,” Gabe calls as he walked out of the large mansion. “I hope you’re ready to meet the Geeks. We’re not pairing up right away so this is just to get to know each other and call dibs if you’d really like to. I’ll begin sending the Geeks out one by one here in a few minutes.”

He was gone before Dean could open his mouth, so he shrugged and reclined in the water and let himself float with arms spread out on the pool-side concrete.

We aren’t pairing up immediately?” The whispers began and Dean rolled his eyes before closing them and tilting his face to the sun.

He was just beginning to tune out the whispers when the first Geek walked out, catching his attention. He opened his eyes, watching the person on the feminine side of androgynous saunter with put-on confidence towards them. “Hey bitches! Er... Beauties. I’m Charlie.” Dean’s jaw dropped as he sat up straighter, splashing water over the edge. He supposed he shouldn’t be as surprised as he was – after all, there was two men on the Beauties’ side – but he wasn’t expecting… Well. Such a geeky _girl_. “I. Well. I um. I like to play video games and LARP.” She made the live-long-and-prosper sign with her hand as a wave of farewell as she practically bolted back into the mansion.

The beauties were whispering among themselves again. “I want her,” Lilith, he thought was her name, spoke up. Dean cursed himself for not speaking up first.

The next few geeks came and went with varying levels of social awareness, but the blonde man sauntering out as if he ruled the world caught Dean’s attention. “Hello ladies… and gentlemen. I am Lucifer Angelus.” Dean already didn’t like this guy, but a few of the beauties were fanning themselves. The geek smiled coolly at them and shrugged. “I’m studying Law at Stanford.”

Dean frowned as Lucifer turned back into the house and one of the prettier beauties -- Lisa, he thought -- called dibs as a brunette man with some serious sex-hair shuffled out, hands in the pockets of his tragic beige trench coat. When he lifted striking cerulean eyes to the beauties Dean heard a few breathe in sharply and his own heart began beating (just a fraction) harder.

“My name is Dr. Castiel Novak. I teach Religious Studies at Duke. I am fascinated with bees.” Cas -- no, _Castiel_ , strange name -- shrugged and shuffled back into the mansion without further commentary.

Before anyone could gather their thoughts enough to speak, Dean’s lips moved on their own accord: “I want him.” The beauties all turned to look him at the same time, eyebrows sky high. He just shrugged, relaxing back against the side of the pool wall to watch the rest of the geeks walk out.

<<<<>>>> 

Castiel shook his head to clear it as he returned to the group of Geeks in the lavishly decorated study and settled back onto the couch between Charlie and Becky.

“Alright Geeks, let’s get this kicked off! You’re not partnered up because we’re going to the first elimination round immediately after your first solo challenge. You guys, and ladies, will be tasked to decorate a room. The winner will send _four_ people to elimination, and two will leave the mansion tonight,” Gabriel said as he stood in front of the group, before returning the lollipop to his mouth. A grape one this time.

Interior design? Was this a joke? Castiel was pretty sure he’d never decorated a room ever in his life. Fortunately for him, it seemed like some of the Geeks were in agreement.

“Are you serious? I pay someone to do that for me!” Lucifer sounded outraged, basically growling, while Ed and Chuck groan into their hands, rubbing at day old stubble. Or maybe longer. Castiel grimaced and looked over at Charlie, the woman was practically vibrating as her leg twitched erratically.

“You’ll be given a limit of $1,000,” Gabriel continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted, “to decorate a ten-foot by eleven-foot room. That’s 3.2-meter by 3.5-meter room for our friends outside of the states!” Gabriel grins and waves for the Geeks to follow him out and to an SUV.

<<<<>>>> 

The midafternoon sun shone bright and some of the Beauties had made their way over to the pool to cool off. Where the midmorning had been brutal, the lunch time sun was becoming unbearable. The Beauties had broken off into groups already, Dean wasn’t surprised to see the girls grouping up with each other as they talked in small groups. He glanced over at Cole as the man sat down next to him, feet dipped in the warm water. “Some surprise.”

“Yeah.”

They fell silent for a moment too long as it became uncomfortable.

“So, what do you do for a living?” Cole coughed quietly, splashing water with his foot.

“I’m a paramedic in Palo Alto, transferred out to be closer to my baby brother. How ‘bout you?”

“Ex-United States Marine Corps Forces Special Operations Command.”

Dean whistled low, “man, that’s some resume. Thanks for your service. I did a tour in the sandbox before I got home and started training to do EMT work.”

“Didn’t want to stay in the service?”

“They generally frown on men that sleep with other men even post DADT. Ended up getting caught with my pants down, so to speak, at a London gay bar. Put me on paper pushing duties until I got fed up and didn’t re-enlist.”

“Rough time.” Cole had an odd look but they were interrupted from further awkward conversation by Gabriel coming out with two camera men, calling out, “beauties, your first challenge is about to begin. The Geeks had a full day of interior decorating; you’re going to make them lunch. Winner choses four people to send to elimination, two are going to go home.”

A few of the Beauties gasped, a few groaned.

The camera cut and Gabriel walks forward to the Beauties. “We’re on an advanced timeline. React as if there is actually a week between each elimination round. You’ll be making enough for each Geek to have a small serving of each of your dishes, so consider that when you’re making your lunch. You will be going into the kitchen in sets of five at a time so there is enough room and no disasters.”

Dean smirked as he pulled himself from the pool, grabbing a towel as they Beauties followed Gabriel into the kitchen.

Jo leaned against the wall next to him, hip checking him hard. “You gonna make the gospel?”

“Hell yes.” He had this challenge in the bag. Besides bar tending at Ellen’s he had perfected the Roadhouse’s staple burger, hailed as basically canon gospel by the patrons. The Winchester Gospel, that is. Jo had nothing on his burger skills, even though she was one of the few that knew the recipe.

She sighed heavily as they watched the other Beauties pair up around the kitchen island, looking varying levels of constipated to contemplative. “I guess you won’t be helping me out?”

“Why don’t you make your best cocktail with aunt Ellen’s steak fries? Gabe didn’t say anything against teaming up if we want to.”

“Isn’t that kind of… I get where you’re going with this, you have a good idea there Winchester. Meal and a cocktail.” They fell into silence as they watched Gabriel murmur to… Was that… Yep, Balthazar. No one could mistake the man’s tragic sense of style in the low-cut V-neck he wore.

“Okay, you four,” Gabriel pointed to Cole, Krissy, Ruby, Anna, and Lisa, “you’re up first in the kitchen. You guys will have access to a warmer to keep your food warm or a fridge to keep it cool. The rest of you get to chill until it’s your turn.”

<<<<>>>> 

Castiel frowned as he chewed at his bottom lip, looking at the walls of decorations and patterns in a big box decoration store. He held a set of brown bedsheets and a tan quilt, figuring that brown and tans couldn’t go over too badly for a color scheme right?

Okay. Color scheme chose, he could do this. What could go wrong? Castiel grimaced, hoping he hadn’t just jinxed himself.

Why did they make them do these stupid challenges anyways? When would he _ever_ bother to decorate a space himself? Cas ran a hand through his mussed hair, eyes squinted at the bed and dressers in front of him. The walls were a warm beige, close to the color of his trench coat. The color motif flowed through the room, just managing to stay a fraction out of monochromatic.

It’s a simple room. The clock on the wall, a wrought iron catastrophe he’d found in clearance and instantly fallen in love with because of the bees circling the clock face. It laid heavily over the large oak wood dresser on the far left wall. The bed was made up with solid beige and white sheets, the dark brown comforter folded nearly down for sleep with words in a variety of languages embroidered in black to nearly blend in. A plethora of decorative (definitely nerdy) pillows, perhaps a few too many, fit in neat piles at the heat of the bed; each pillow had a different language embroidered into it ranging from Spanish to French.

Castiel was beginning to regret the plus brown carpet as he shuffled around the room, the static building as he shuffled in the tight spaces between the furniture. Each time he touched a piece of metal he’d get a jolt of static shock. He sincerely wished he had gone with a hard wood instead.

With only a few minutes left Cas turned to face Gabriel, lifting his chin in acknowledgement.

“Castiel!” Gabriel enthused as he and a crew of cameras wandered over. “What can you tell us about your room?”

“I went with what I like,” he shrugged, sticking his hands into his favorite trench coat. “I’m most comfortable around languages and beige.”

“Yes, we can see that,” Gabriel drawled slowly, a smile plastered on his face as he unwrapped another lollipop. It looked to be maybe raspberry this time, Castiel noted and rolled his eyes. How the host didn’t have health issues he had no idea. “It’s kind of plain.”

“I like plain.”

“Well, the best of luck,” Gabriel walked off to Lucifer’s – or was that Chuck? – room and Castiel turned back to look at his room. Plain was nice. Plus, weren’t magazines always showing images of plain rooms?

Castiel sighed.

<<<<>>>> 

“Dean, please help me with cutting the potatoes?” Jo asked, a solid hour later when they were finally let into the kitchen, as she set down the peeled spuds near his sizzling hamburger patties frying up on the stovetop grill. It was the best he could do without going out back to grill on a real fire grill, which was currently occupied by Meg and her _vegetables._ He mentally shuddered at the thought.

“Sure,” he replied, taking one from the colander and placing it on the cutting board.

“Thanks, Dean,” Jo said as she kissed his cheek and went back to chilling drinks in tumblers, checking the temperature of the liquid before shaking them again and replacing them into an ice bath. “These heathens left all their liquor off ice.”

“Yes, such heathens,” Dean agreed with a grin as he cut into the potatoes.

“Thirty minutes left! Then you Beauties get to see what the Geeks have made and they get a well-deserved lunch!” Gabe yelled over the din of the kitchen as he… well, he pranced… into the room. The cameras turned off and Gabriel added, “you guys will get your own lunches before you judge the Geek’s challenge, don’t worry. Hey Steve, get a shot from over by Dean.”

Dean pointedly ignored the camera as he finished cutting the potatoes for Jo, handing them back over to her as he flipped his slider burgers. He’d chosen to go with a smaller version of his famous burger to make up for the smaller portion sizes.

“Mind not filming the entire process? I mean, unless you’re enjoying the view,” Dean asked, a wry smile on his lips as he glanced over at the camera guy that was still standing behind him. Jo managed to hide a snort behind a cough, turning away as her shoulders shook in silent laughter.

Steve just rolled his eyes with a chuckle and walked over to Meg as she flipped the aluminum bundles over the fire.

“Need anything else Jo?” Dean asked, leaning around the petite blonde to glance at her boiling potatoes.

“Make sure the oven is set to like… 450 for me, will you please?” He just nodded and stepped back, glancing at the oven and turning it up a little higher for good measure.

“It’s good for you, Jo!”

“Thanks Dean!”

He wandered back to his station, took the burgers off the stove top and laid them on the sauced buns, layering extra bacon, onion, lettuce, and his secret ingredients before finishing them with a toasted sesame bun on top. Ten portions went into the warmer, joining what looked like _more_ vegetables and something that resembled an overcooked slice of wood. He winced and stepped back, glancing over at Gabriel.

Gabriel walked over and glanced at the hamburgers. “Burgers, really Dean? Isn’t that kind of… A cop out?”

“Nope. Not when they’re what I’m known for at my aunts roadhouse. This is me, pulling out all the stops.” Dean winks and chuckles as Gabriel breaks character for a moment, looking surprised.

“Well, good luck then Dean,” and he goes on to the next Beauty.

\---

Castiel will be eternally grateful to the Beauty that made the burger sliders for lunch, he’s certain that it’s probably the best thing he’s had to eat in a long time and he’s _hungry_ dammit. The steak fries are a good side dish too, but nothing holds even a candle to the burgers. 

“Okay Geeks,” Gabriel says as he, well, Castiel would be hard pressed to explain how Gabriel is almost _sashaying_ out into the dining room where they’re eating. “Time to rate your favorite and runner up favorite meal!”

Two assistants scurried into the room from a side door with a stack of papers each, handing out the leaflets and a pen to each Geek. Castiel looked down at the paper, the only words printed on it; FAVORITE MEAL, DESCRIBE. SECOND FAVORITE, DESCRIBE. He scribbled down the slider hamburger as his number one and the steak fries and mixed drink as his second favorite before passing it back to Gabriel.

“Alright,” the host announced once everyone had handed in their leaflet and a book of study materials. “I’ll go tally these. I’ll be back in a few minutes. Go enjoy the sun!”

And he was gone. Poof. The Geeks all stood and stretched, walking out into the backyard to relax by the poolside that the Beauties had been relaxing in just a few hours previous. Castiel glanced at his watch as he tossed his trench and suit jacket over the back of the chair he pulled out. Just after one in the afternoon, plenty of time to cram study.

\---

Dean frowned as he stood against the far wall, trying to get all ten rooms in his view at roughly the same time. They sometimes had a theme, sometimes they had no notable connection between pieces. Some were downright dreadful, he thought of the olive green room with red bedding and ebony furniture. There was a nice off-white room, room one, with art prints on the wall and white furniture to match, all set against a gray wall. Room three was lovely, aesthetically anyways. The tile floor was softened by a white and black area rug with a white and black bed on it. There was limited furniture and one of the empty walls had a huge art print hanging on it. And the beige room, number ten, was nice, if a little… lacking in personality.

His favorite by far was the nerdy room filled to the brim with knick knacks of all sorts of geeky references that he only got a few of. It ranged from video game posters to character and creature statuettes. The bedding in that one left something to be desired, a slate grey with shimmery grey-purple pillows, but overall it was the best of the bunch. By the chatter from the other Beauties, he was pretty certain that they disagreed, if only because they didn’t understand the nerdy culture.

“Alright Beauties,” Gabriel said as he sashays to the center of the room, assistants bringing the Beauties a slip of paper. Dean glanced down at it. It was to the point, he supposed for ease of choosing the winner, and he wrote down the nerdy room (number seven) as his choice for first place and the white-and-black room (number three) for second place.

As soon as Gabriel collected the paper they were rushed back to the SUVs and on their way back to the mansion.

\---

Dean was a little surprised, honestly, that the Beauties and the Geeks were brought together in the large living area for the reveal of the challenge winners.

“Alright my Beauties and Geeks, let’s get on with the winners! Beauties, one of you wowed the Geeks almost unanimously. Dean, you won challenge number one. Congratulations.”

His world went silent for a moment as he took in that _he had won_ and was now sending four people to elimination. He let out a slow breath, drew in another with a count of eight, finally conscious that people were looking at him. “Wow. Thanks.” Dean was thankful that Gabriel hadn’t asked him a follow-up question and had just moved on.

“Some of you Geeks had abysmal rooms, and a few of you were fighting for first place. Lucifer, you won challenge number one by one vote over Charlie’s room.” The room clapped for the winners, but Dean caught the serendipitous looks at Lucifer and himself. Some were more worried about going home than others, it seemed. “I’ll be back in half an hour to take those going to elimination to the elimination room. Dean, Lucifer, please have those names ready.”

Dean nodded and slowly stood, walking out back into the midafternoon heat. While it was incredibly unpleasant it gave him a moment alone to think. Well, until Lucifer wandered over, sitting beside him at the pools edge. “Who do you plan on sending?”

“I thought we could put our heads together and chose who we think should go. You know the Beauties, I know the Geeks.” The other man relaxed back on the deck chair, pulling his sun glasses down over his eyes. “Got any ideas?”

“Cole Trenton. He’s Ex-USMC Forces Special Operations Command.”

Lucifer whistled low under his breath. “Must have been a sharp one. I want to send Castiel Novak.”

Dean glanced over, sharply. “Why?”

“He got his PhD at 24 in some religious study field. I didn’t care to listen to more than that. He seems to lack any pop culture knowledge, even _I_ _’ve_ seen _Game of Thrones_.”

“No, keep him. If he’s as clueless when it comes to basic pop knowledge as you say he is, keep him in and send someone else home first.” Lucifer glanced over at him but shrugged.

“Whatever.”

“I think I’ll also send Meg Masters, Lisa Braedon, and Krissy Chambers. Meg is one sneaky bitch, Lisa seems like a threat, and Krissy isn’t showing her hand yet.” Dean stood and brushed off his shorts. “Who else are you going to send?”

“Ed Zeddmore, Chuck Shurley, Alfie, and Becky,” Lucifer shrugged again. “I don’t want to toss everyone I find a threat under the bus yet. And Ed is annoying.”

“He the guy who produces that dumb ghost hunting show?”

“Yeah, him.”

“Oh hell yeah, send him packing.” They both had to chuckle at that. Gabriel walked out with Steve the camera guy tailing after him.

“You guys done conspiring?” Gabriel asks, offering two lollipops as he speaks around a lolly. Dean glanced up, surprised to see a camera man that had filmed the entire conversation. 

“Yep,” Dean nods, waving away the candy as Lucifer stands and pushes his sunglasses up on top of his head, nodding his assent.

“Alrighty, let’s go back into the room and send some contestants packing!” Gabriel has a wide, too innocent smile plastered to his face but Dean brushes it off as Gabriel being Gabriel.

They make their way back into the living area and the Beauties and the Geeks once again gather together as Dean and Lucifer stand by Gabriel. “Lucifer, you go first.”

Lucifer nods to the host and turns to face his fellow contestants. “Ed. Chuck. Alfie. Becky.” Becky’s eyes go wide and shiny, Chuck just looks resigned, Ed looks confused as to why he’d be chosen, and Alfie frowns.

Dean nods to Gabriel before the host can call on him. “Lisa. Meg. Cole. Krissy.” Lisa looks surprised that Dean would chose her, Meg glares him down, Cole looks… betrayed? Annoyed? Dean’s really hoping Cole gets sent home. Krissy just glowers.

“Alright you eight. Come with me!” And Gabriel leads them off to the elimination room while the Beauties and the Geeks slowly disperse to find a way to pass the time.

Dean ends up out by the pool again when he hears the scrape of a chair and glances back, meeting a cerulean gaze that’s turned a darker shade in the setting sun. “Hey, I’m Dean.”

“Hello, Dean. I’m Castiel.”

<<<<>>>> 

The Beauties stand shoulder to shoulder in the elimination room as Gabriel moves to the front, by the stand of eight questions. “Meg and Krissy. Krissy, chose a number.”

“One.” Her voice is steady, looking as if she’s un-phased.

“What is a common herb to go with lemon?”

“Basil.”

“Correct. Lisa.”

Lisa nibbles on her lower lip before answering, “two.”

“How do you reduce a sauce?”

“Let it simmer on low.”

“Correct. Krissy.”

“Three.”

“What are different colored cutting boards for?”

“Limiting cross contamination between food types.”

“Correct. Lisa.”

“Four.”

“What is the technique called when you cut ingredients into thin slices?”

Lisa is quiet for a moment. “Julienne.”

“Correct. Krissy. The score is two to two.”

“Eight.”

“What is a mandoline used for?”

“A… Uh.” Krissy falters, a contemplating expression crossing her face as she nibbles at the edge of a nail.

“Thirty seconds.”

“I don’t know.”

“Lisa?”

“Thinly slicing ingredients.”

“Krissy. Score is three – two with three questions left.”

“Seven.”

“Is mirin chocolate-y or alcoholic?”

“Chocolate.”

“I’m sorry. Still three – two. Lisa, what number?”

“Six.”

“When you butcher a chicken, how many pieces of meat should you end up with?”

Lisa looks stunned before stuttering out, “eight?”

“Correct.” Somehow, she looks even more stunned. “Four to two. I’m sorry Krissy, you are eliminated. Lisa, you’ve survived. Meg and Cole, step up. Meg?”

“Two.”

“How can you fix an overly sweet dish, which might I add isn’t ever a problem!”

“Add salt or lemon.”

“Correct. Cole?”

“Three.”

“Pesto sauce is primarily what ingredients?”

Cole is silent for a moment before tentatively saying, “basil, parmesan, olive oil, salt, and garlic?”

“You got four of the five ingredients correct, I’ll let you have it. It’s pine nuts. One – one. Meg?”

“One.”

“What is the most sanitary cutting board material?”

“Wood.”

“Correct. Cole?”

“Four.”

“What is a Goulash?”

Cole looks physically pained by getting the difficult questions. “A beef roast?”

“I’m sorry, that’s incorrect. Meg? What is a goulash?”

“A beef stew.”

“Correct. Two – one. Cole.”

“Five.”

“Of the following, which is not considered a fresh cheese? Mozzarella, cream cheese, ricotta, brie.”

“Brie.”

“That is correct, two – two. Meg?”

“Six.”

“Your bread recipe calls for yeast but all you have is a packet of rapid rise yeast. Can you use it?”

Meg goes quiet for a moment before answering, “yes.”

“Correct. Three – two. Cole?”

“Eight.”

“What is a blond roux? Hint: It’s not a stripper’s name.”

“Flour and butter.”

“Correct. Three-Three. Meg, you have to get this one correct to not go into a tie breaker. Meg, what does it mean to ‘bard’ a roast?”

Meg smiles, wide, “to wrap it in fat.”

“Congratulations, Meg. I’m sorry Cole, you’re out.”

Cole nods and steps back with Krissy and they leave the room quietly as the four Geeks step forward. “Becky and Chuck.”

The two step forward, both looking like small, nervous animals. “Chuck, you will begin.”

“One,” he doesn’t quite have any projection with his first attempt, clears his throat, and tries again. “One.”

“Which designer created the Bubble Club Sofa?”

“Starck.”

“Correct. Becky.”

“Two.”

“This Egyptian designer designed Oaza Zdravlja pharmacy in Serbia.” Gabe’s done his research, or been briefed at the least, because he doesn’t entirely butcher the pronunciation.

“Karim Rashid.”

“Correct. Chuck?”

“Three.”

“This interior designer prefers monochromatic and earthy tones.”

“Vandiver.”

“Correct. Becky?”

“Four.”

“This architect designed the W Hotels Retreat and Spa on Vieques Island, a personal favorite of mine.”

“Urquiola.”

“Correct. Two – two. Chuck?”

“Eight.”

“This designer uses whimsy and tradition in her sophisticated projects.”

“Bunn.”

“Correct. Becky?”

“Seven.”

“This designer from Connecticut uses non-binary colors.”

“Patrick Mele.”

“Correct. Three – three. Chuck?”

“Five.”

“This up-and-coming designer is ‘passionate about Parisian Art Deco.’”

“Amoia.”

“Correct. Becky, you can take this into a tie breaker.” She nods and takes a steadying breath. “This designer graduated from Fordham Law School and took a position as an intern with a design firm.”

“Young Huh.”

“Correct. Tie breaking round. Choose a number.”

“Six,” Chuck replies.

“One,” Becky says.

“Becky, you’re first. This designer was featured on ELLE list of best interior designers in the world.”

“Collins?”

“I’m sorry Becky, that is incorrect. Chuck?”

“Denoit.”

“Congratulations, Chuck. I’m sorry Becky. Ed and Alfie, will you please come forward?”

Becky stepped back after giving each a hug and stood by the door.

“Ed, you’re first.”

“One.”

“This designer said ‘I want to create the illusion – and the reality – of permanence.’”

“Marino.”

“Correct. Alfie?”

“Two.”

“This designer uses creativity and imagination to develop luxury designs.”

“Wanders?”

“Incorrect, I’m sorry. Ed?”

“Collins.”

“Correct. Alfie, number please?”

“Eight.”

“This designer designed the knitted chair and has made his mission to ‘create an environment of love, live with passion and make our most exciting dreams come true.’”

“Starck?”

“I’m sorry. Ed?”

“Wanders.”

“Correct It is now three – nothing. Alfie?”

“Seven.”

“This ‘Jewish and Irish descent designer designs are not only focused in hospitality or residential but also in stunning yachts of private clients, as well in commercial projects all around the world, including restaurants, offices and aircraft.’”

“Wearstler.”

“Incorrect, I’m sorry. Ed?”

“Kelly Hoppen.”

“Correct. Four to none. Alfie, you need to get all of these right to go to a tie breaker. This architect is known for the designs in the walls of the buildings he created.”

“Brudnizki.”

“I’m sorry Alfie, your time here has come to a close. Ed, congratulations. Winners, time to go back and I’ll be there shortly. Please have everyone gather in the living area again.”

Alfie shook Ed and Chuck’s hands as he passed, walking with Becky out of the room before Ed and Chuck left to the living area.

The screen switched to Becky in a confessional scene. “I was really hoping to do better than the first one out.”

Alfie was the next one on screen, “I really could have used that prize money. I hope the best team wins.”

Cole and Krissy sit side by side. Cole sighs and says, “I guess I wasn’t as prepared as I thought I was to come into this game.” Krissy just nods, no emotion flickering across her face.


	2. Episode Two

Dean glanced up as Ed, Chuck, Meg and Lisa walk back in. “Hey guys, get everyone together in the living area.”

Most everyone was already in the living area already. Those by the hot tub were called inside and Gabriel had the two assistants carry two sets of thin, bound books. “Well, congrats for not getting kicked off in round one guys. Here’s your study material for round two.”

Gabriel motioned for the geeks and the beauties to stand on opposite sides of the great glass table between the two groups while the assistants handed out the books. The cameras began to roll and Gabriel put on a smile. "Dean, Lucifer, since you won your respective challenges you get first pick of partners. The only catch is you can not pick each other."

Dean made an effort to look like he had wanted Lucifer as his partner and was disappointed. He wasn't sure he managed to pull it off entirely. Lucifer just frowned. Dean wondered if that was just his usual expression.

"Pick a number between one and ten."

"One," Lucifer said.

Dean was silent for a moment. "Nine."

“Lucifer, you make first choice. The number was three." Gabriel replied and stepped back to whisper with his crew. The cameras turned to face Lucifer.

"Lisa."

The brunette grinned and the two left immediately to claim the best bedroom they could find before the next team made it up the grand staircase.

"Dean, your turn," Gabriel nudged Dean and the cameras turned to face him, then sweep over the Geeks. He had his pick of Geeks. He could choose Charlie, but his gut told him to go for Blue Eyes even their conversation out back had been short. Charlie was geekier than him, but they seemed to have a lot of the same interests but… He bit down on his bottom lip before letting it go.

"Castiel." The man with the blue eyes looked up at him, surprised.

"Alright, go find your room." And they bolted up the stairs, passing Lucifer and Lisa in a large two bed room for the largest room. He’d had enough of cramped spaces growing up with a little brother that rapidly surpassed even you in height. The room just happened to have a single bed. It had the best view, of course; open a window and he bet they could hear the gossip on the deck below.

“What do you think the next challenge is?” Castiel asked and Dean turned to look at him, watching the man pulling down the bedding. Dean glanced at his own book, opening it to a page seemingly at random. He was a little surprised to see a section on the presidential debates.

“I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a quiz or public speaking of some sort for the beauties. Whatcha got there, Cas?”

Castiel had been speed reading his way through the first chapter, by the looks of it. “I’m guessing it’s going to include a performance of some sort. Maybe a talent show?”

He made a non-committal noise. “So, Cas, what are some of your hobbies that you think are talent show worthy?” Dean asked as he threw himself onto the bed, stretching lazily before melting into the memory foam mattress. “Singing? I bet your voice would make you a killer bass.”

“No, I can’t really sing, Dean. I’m not sure exactly what I’ll be doing,” Cas replied as he settled into a overstuffed chair next to the window, taking in the view of the pool to the right and the sprawling patio below before returning to his study materials.

“Well, let’s brainstorm! This challenge kind of speaks for itself, why are you still studying?” He pushed himself up and turned around to lay with his head at the foot of the bed.

“The elimination round is always a quiz format, I think it would be wisest to plan for a possible elimination match.”

Dean frowned. “Why think that way, man?”

Castiel looked up at him, quickly voiding his expression of emotion. “Because Dean, if one of us, by that I mean you, doesn’t win the challenge we’ll be sent to elimination.”

“Why are you so certain?” Dean’s bristling now. He’d won the first challenge, why did the other man assume they’d be going home now?

“I’m almost certain since you and Lucifer couldn’t team up, he’ll send you home first since you’re what he perceives as his biggest threat.” Dean couldn’t argue against that. They’d definitely have to stand their ground from now on and win as many times as possible for immunity or else they’d be spending a lot of time in elimination matches. “I think I’ll speak about bee keeping.”

“Bee…  keeping…” Dean drawled slowly, caught off guard and in his head with the sudden shift back to the topic of the challenge. “You know, there are ways to make anything interesting except maybe bee keeping.” Castiel shot him a dirty look and Dean sat up, raising his hand in placation. “Dude, sorry.” Castiel just shrugged.

Dean slowly moved up the bed and quietly returned to reading. Blue Eyes had a point.

<<<<>>>>

Dean and Castiel are startled out of their focus on the materials by a knock on the door before it swings in, revealing Charlie — if Dean recalls correctly. “Charlie?”

“That’s me, bitches. C’mon. It’s movie night.”

Dean glances over at Castiel and is pretty sure he has a similar expression, brows furrowed and blue eyes squinted at Charlie in abject confusion. “Why?”

“Team bonding, whatever. There’s a fucking massive theater. C’mon!” She yanks Dean up and off of the bed before pulling Castiel to his feet and leading them down into the living area, then down a side hall to find the beauties and geeks segregated by category. “I got them!”

“I still say we watch _The Notebook_ ,” Meg drawled, leaning back into Anna’s fingers as the redhead braided the brunette’s hair.

“And I say we watch _Ten Things I Hate About You,”_ Lisa snarks back, relaxing into a huge bed in the floor. The thing’s massive and probably incredibly soft by the way Lisa sinks into it.

Meg just rolls her eyes and everyone turns to look back at the three still near the door. “Well, what about you guys? Please tell me you’ll watch _The Notebook_.”

“Why don’t we watch _Star Wars_?” Dean asks and Charlie gives him a high five. Most of the beauties groan and roll their eyes while a majority of the geeks node approvingly. Castiel just looks perplexed.

“How about this. We have a double showing. One geek-chosen, one beauty-chosen,” Charlie tries at placation and Lucifer lets out a low huff of annoyance. “Got a better idea, Luci?”

Lucifer doesn’t even look phased. “Let’s just watch one movie tonight, shall we? We have a challenge tomorrow.”

“Fine. Those for _Star Wars_.” Nine hands go up, and Dean’s a little surprised Lisa’s is one of them.

“Those for _The Notebook_?” six go up. Dean’s even more surprised by Chuck’s being one.

“Those for _Ten Things_?” The last three.

“Okay, _Star Wars_ it is. Let’s just start from…”

“Nuh uh, we do this right. All those for Episode Four.” Most of the hands go up when Dean cuts Charlie off. “That settles it. Go pull it up, please, Charlie.”

Charlie just rolls her eyes and laughs softly as she walks back to the computer controlling the projector as Dean and Castiel plop down on the unoccupied corner of the enormous floor-bed nearest the door. Dean lets out an appreciative groan as he sinks into it. Castiel glanced sharply at him and Dean just smirked. Their staring contest is broken by Charlie plopping down hard between the men, curling up into Castiel’s side, as the movie starts.

“You should have said _Star Trek_ ,” Charlie whispers and Dean can’t help but chuckle.

“Yeah, but I wanted to get some of the beauties on board with it too or we’d end up watching _The Clone Wars_ at the rate of argument.”

Charlie gasped, appalled. “Don’t you dare!”

Dean snorts and relaxes back on an impressive pile of pillows to watch the movie. Halfway through Lisa returns from a break and settles in beside him. It’s unexpected as the mattress sinks with additional weight and suddenly a warm body beside his. “So, you’re a fan of _Star Wars_?”

“Yeah,” he whispers. “I prefer _Star Trek_ though.” Castiel just levels them with a glare and Dean falls silent, returning to watching the movie until he feels Lisa resting her hand on his knee.

To move or not? To even acknowledge her? He bit his lower lip lightly before slowly drawing away from Lisa, stretching and standing. “I’ll be back in a few, Cas, Charlie.” He pointedly ignores Lisa’s surprise as he leaves the room.

It’s not until he’s making his way back that he sees Lisa, Lucifer, Bela, and Kevin leave as a group, whispering to each other and he gets a dirty glare from Lisa. Shrugging, he just returns to Charlie and Castiel with a muttered, “the four that just left looked quite chummy. They teaming up?”

“Probably,” Charlie replies, shifting to cuddle with Dean when he’s settled and has his attention back on the screen.

<<<<>>>>

Dean’s pretty sure that mornings in the mansion would suck more than sleeping side-by-side with the cute, difficult geeky guy. He was eternally glad that he hadn’t woken up with a raging hard-on or tucked against Castiel’s back (or perhaps vice versa, however he wouldn’t mind a little, erm, _manly holding_ time). It was a moot point anyhow; pretty sure the guy’s straight.

Well. Probably straight. He’d never dropped anything even resembling gendered language about his past (if he had any) partners. Dean groaned quietly as he rested his head against the shower wall for a moment. Even if the geek was into guys — big if — the guy probably hated him or thought he was just another pretty face on principle alone.

He shoved the shower door open and roughly toweled off when the water got cold a few minutes into the shower. Of course it would, because living with sixteen other people didn’t have to suck enough as is. The sink and counter was absolutely _covered_ with feminine products ranging from what he thought was hair mousse to lipstick and quite a few things he had no idea what they were. Maybe some sort of skin tone lipstick thing?

Okay, so maybe they’d need a group meeting in the near future about segregating the bathrooms into those with a ton of make-up and hair shit and those that didn’t bother. Charlie would probably appreciate it, he kind of assumed she didn’t use a whole fuck ton of the same products the feminine leaning beauties used.

Yeah, group meeting later. He was dropping the towel when the door opened — of _course_ Dean forgot to lock it — and in came Castiel, nose deep in the research materials before he realized there was a very naked Dean Winchester in front of him. It would be almost comical how quickly the professor’s face and neck lit up with a flush if Dean wasn’t so mortified himself. He was pretty sure his blush could’ve been seen from space as it spread down his neck and into his chest.

“They told me you were out, I’m so sorry — I should have knocked —” and wasn’t that curious, Dean wondered, as he watched Cas’ eyes flicker down and move up to not quite meet his eyes once again before blushing harder and bolting out of the bathroom. Dean shrugged. Weird, cute, little geek.

<<<<>>>>

Word travels fast Dean realizes. It’s not even fifteen minutes later when he’s sitting at the kitchen counter nibbling on a piece of toast and reading over the materials when Charlie slides in beside him with a grin. It’s actually a little off putting how she’s smiling like that and —

“I hear Cas got quite the show this morning. Did he at least buy you dinner first?” Charlie asks, all innocence and sweetness. Dean choked. “Oh, so it did happen!”

“Dammit Charlie, yeah it did. I’m still feeling the embarrassment. Can you lay off?” Dean knows he’s being unfairly harsh but _dammit_ that had been unexpected and he wasn’t exactly into voyeurism.

She just rolls her eyes and gives him a quick hug before getting her own breakfast. “How did you sleep?”

“I had a little trouble falling asleep after the mini nap I had towards the end of the movie,” Dean replies, stretching before he finishes off his toast and coffee. “You?”

“Fell right asleep,” and there’s that smug little smile again. Dean just laughs and stands.

“I’m going to go find Castiel…” And speak of the devil, the geek was just walking in. “Well, there he is. Cas, want some breakfast and then we can get some last minute study time in together?”

Castiel just shrugs, keeping his back to Dean; Dean’s almost certain that Cas is blushing. It isn’t until he’s closed the stainless steel fridge to pour a glass of juice on the island counter that Dean’s theory is confirmed. Yep. Cas is a little pink in the face.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

The others filter in slowly, a few in various states of disarray and definitely not TV ready. Chuck looks like he’s having the worst hangover of his life. “You good, Chuck?”

“I drink… a lot… while I’m writing. Kind of feeling the withdrawal now,” he says with a halfhearted shrug and Dean’s fighting a slow smile.

Lucifer just turns his nose up and Jo sighs at the haughty geek. “I’ll make my mom’s hangover cure-all for you Chuck. It can’t hurt to see if it’ll help.” No one dates to mention that withdrawal and a killer hangover are two separate issues all together.

But it isn’t until Meg enters the kitchen that the tension ratchets up to eleven. She strolls in, looking as if she hadn’t a care in the world, settling at the counter near Dean and as far from Lisa as possible. The two refuse to make eye contact.

“Good morning, Meg,” Castiel is the first to break the silence.

“Mornin’ Clarence,” she says cheerily, smiling brightly at Cas. Dean frowns.

“Clarence?” Lisa asks from across the kitchen, looking up from pouring some sort of not-milk into what looks like cardboard in a bowl. Meg just smirks.

“Haven’t _seen It’s a Wonderful Life_ yet, Lisa?”

“I have,” Lisa says slowly, setting aside the not-milk. “I was just curious.”

“Castiel is our very own tree topper,” Meg croons and Dean grimaces.

“I thought his name sounded biblical,” Cassie remarks from the table by one of the large windows.

“He is here you guys,” Dean pipes up, looking over at Castiel.

“Yes, my parents were very… traditional. They named all of my siblings after angels and biblical characters,” Castiel added as he comes up behind Dean, setting his food beside Dean’s. “And it’s not like I’m the only one here named after an angel.” He pointedly looks over at Lucifer.

Lucifer raises his hands in placation. “Yeah, well, I’m also named after Satan. Kind of a moot point when the angel is fallen. My brothers got the more traditional names.”

“Speaking of brothers,” Kevin pipes up from near the center island, “isn’t your brother Gabriel?”

“Unfortunately.” That makes a few people chuckle, diffusing the tension.

“How’d you get on the show with Gabriel as the host? Isn’t that like… Nepotism?” Kevin asked.

“Big word, kid,” Dean tosses across the way as Lucifer remarks, “I got on the show by my own merit.”

“Wait,” Dean suddenly says, looking at Lucifer like it’s the first time he’s seen him. “You’re the ‘great big bag of dicks’ brother!”

“I see you’ve talked to Gabriel.”

“Nepotism,” Kevin coughed from the corner.

“I’ll have you know, I got on the show because apparently there weren’t enough male beauties sending in tapes,” Dean just has to stare the kid down and he’s wilting like a leaf. “And yeah, I know Gabriel. Long, unfortunate story about him, my brother, and one of Gabe’s well-intentioned harebrained ideas. Everything suddenly makes more sense.”

“Well, Michael is a dick too if that counts for anything,” Lucifer shrugs. “I just… Am a lot less concerned with my family’s opinion of me.”

“My ears are burning, which one of you is gossiping about me?” The host asks as he walks into the kitchen. The group unanimously turn and point to Dean and Lucifer. “Big bro and Dean-o!”

“So, he’s the great big bag of dicks?”

“Yup!”

Lucifer just groans and stands. “Why are you here, Gabriel?”

“I host the show?” Gabriel sounds genuinely confused. “I’m here to give the beauties their topics. You’ll be split into groups based on your topic. We don’t really want you all conspiring _against_ the show. Alright, I’ll be seeing you all at eleven!”

Once again the assistants run out into the group and dispense an index card to each beauty. Dean glanced down at his, “tenth grade knowledge” in a simple font printed on the center of the card. He glances up at Castiel, and he must look extra pathetic because his partner seems to take pity on him and nods towards the back door.

<<<<>>>>

The two-hour cram session goes by in the blink of an eye. Gabriel is back and louder than ever before he realizes the sun is a little higher in the sky and his skin has reddened a little in the gradually warming summer sunlight. He and Castiel had taken to sitting next to the pool, books on laps as they reclined and quizzed each other. Cas had almost fondly remarked how it felt like college again, but without the fun weekends. Dean had no idea to take that tidbit of information.

“Everyone to the kitchen!” An assistant calls from the patio before ducking back in. They glance back at where she had disappeared off to and Dean pushed himself into a standing position, brushing away any dirt from his jeans before holding his hand out to help Castiel up.

Gabriel, obnoxiously loud and brash Gabe, is quiet when they walk into the kitchen. Dean’s hoping this isn’t an omen of what’s to come at their first real team challenge. He glances over at Cas and the man’s expression mirrors his own, worry drawing his face taunt.

“Everyone here? Where’s Bela and Kevin?” The words aren’t even out when Bela and Kevin emerge from the living area, taking up position near Gabe. “Good.” As soon as the cameras are in place he grins his _host_ smile and waggles a lollipop in front of the pairs. “The Beauties will be going first with their quiz. After that the Geeks will be showing off their talents in our very own Beauty and the Geek talent show.”

The cameras focus on the grimaces all around and then pull back to roll for any extra footage that may happen by happenstance.

“We’ll be leaving in twenty minutes. We need a few confessional takes from…” He looks at the people assembled and sucks on the lollipop for a moment. “Kevin, Castiel, Meg, Lisa, and Anna. The rest of you get until we get ready to carpool to do whatever you want.”

<<<<>>>>

Castiel is sitting in the middle of the frame, looking unimpressed with whatever the interviewer had just said. “I hate talent shows, let alone participating in one. It seems like it’s completely inane.”

Kevin is biting at his lip as he fidgets on the stool. “I’ll probably play my cello but I hate playing solo in front of people.”

Meg, calm and composed as ever, is just reclining like she’s not worried. “I’ll do my best. If I lose, I lose.”

Lisa is frowning. “I don’t like public speaking, especially when it’s a quiz show. I’m just really bad at coming up with things on the fly.”

Anna smiles and flips her hair over her shoulder delicately. “I’ll do as well as I can, I suppose. It’s different than being on set, but I’m sure my skill being in front of the camera will help.”

<<<<>>>>

They’re in a nondescript warehouse that Dean is pretty sure they were at for the geek’s challenge the day before. The cameras trained in on Gabriel. “Alright beauties, you’re up. Dean, Lisa, Cassie, and Jo are in the first round. Meg, Ruby, Bela, and Anna are in the second round. The two best will go to a third round with no research have to answer questions they’re unprepared for. The geeks will be rating you in three categories: knowledge, clarity, and ease of understanding. Good luck.”

“Team one, please go to one of the podiums each.” Dean glanced over at the stage that had been placed and noticed that the assistants had added podiums while Gabriel was talking. Dean jogged over to the podium on the far left, closest to where Castiel was taking a seat. Jo took the podium next to him, Cassie by her, and Lisa directly across from him.

Gabriel fell quiet as he shuffled the papers in front of him. “Beauties, pick a number from one to twenty. Closest goes first and so on.” The lights dimmed and spotlighted the beauties and Gabriel.

“Twelve.”

“Two.”

“Twenty.”

“One.”

“The number was five. Jo goes first, followed by Lisa, then Dean, and finally Cassie. Your group is tenth grade knowledge. The first beauty to get three points goes on. Jo, as of 2007, how many days are there, exactly, in a year?“

“365?”

“Sorry, it’s 365.24. Lisa, in 2008, who was President Obama’s running mate?”

“Biden.”

“First name, too, please.”

“Joe Biden.”

“Correct. Dean, what color indicates the hottest burning star in pictures of the universe?”

“Red?”

“Sorry, it’s white. Cassie,” Gabriel took a breath and Dean’s heart sped up, “true or false. There’s an infinite number of stars in the universe.”

“False.”

“Correct. Dean and Lisa are in tied the lead. Jo, what is the last letter in the German alphabet?”

“Esset?”

“Sorry, it’s Z. Lisa, Carol Goodmann wrote what book?”

“River of Languages?”

“I’m sorry, it’s Lake of Dead Languages. Dean, true or false: Physics is defined as ‘developed out of efforts of man trying to explain our physical environment.’”

“True.”

“Correct. Cassie, true or false: Galileo Galilei is a famous physicist.”

“True.”

“Correct. Jo, 0 points. Lisa, 1 point. Dean, 1 point. Cassie, 2 points. Cassie is in the lead. Jo, true or false: the definition of displacement is ‘A vector that points from an object's initial position to its final position and has a magnitude that equals the greatest distance between two points.’”

“False.”

“I’m sorry, that’s incorrect. It is true. Lisa, blank does not reveal about the direction of the motion. To describe how fast an object moves and the direction of its motion, we need the vector concept of blank. What two terms go in the blanks.”

Lisa looks shocked and the room is silent. “Speed,” Lisa began, voice wavering a little. “And…”

Gabriel glanced at the assistant who shook her head. “Lisa, you have twenty seconds.”

She looked damn near ready to pass out. “I don’t know, Gabriel.”

“I’m sorry, Lisa. It was speed and velocity. Dean, Sulphur dioxide gas is collected by what?”

Dean frowned. He knew it was in the materials… Some sort of displacement of something. “Twenty seconds, Dean.” He closes his eyes, taking a breath.

“Downward displacement of air.”

“Correct. Dean is now at 2 points. Cassie, what is the energy transfer process of windmills?”

Cassie closes her eyes before answering, “Kinetic energy, Rotational energy, Electrical energy.”

“True. Cassie, you’re going on to round three.” Dean felt himself deflate and he looked out to see Castiel giving him a small, supportive smile. He managed to just barely return it before jumping off of the stage to sit down next to his partner.

“You did the best you could, Dean,” Cas’ low voice doesn’t quite block Gabriel’s call for the second team.

“Thanks, Cas.”

“Okay ladies. Your questions will be about naval history. And no, I don’t mean your inny or outy,” Gabriel chuckled at his own joke and winked at the camera. The lights dimmed and spotlighted the beauties and Gabriel.

“Pick a number, one to twenty.”

“One.”

“Three.”

“Nine.”

“Sixteen.”

“The number’s fifteen. We’ll be going counter clockwise from Anna. Anna, What are the six areas that compromise naval doctrine?”

“Warfare, Intelligence, Command and Control, Operations, Navigation, and History.”

“I’m sorry. It’s Warfare, Intelligence, Command and Control, Operations, Planning, and Logistics. Bela, what refers to ‘ _providing the right support at the right time, at the right place?_ _’_ ”

“Responsiveness.”

“Correct. Ruby, what refers to ‘ _providing logistics support for the duration of the operation?_ _’_ ”

“Survivability.”

“I’m sorry, that’s incorrect. Meg, what was the first ship named after an enlisted man called?”

“USS Osmond Ingram.”

“Correct. One Meg, one Bela. Anna, what date did the Second Continental Congress authorize the purchase of the first Navy vessels?”

“October 13, 1775.”

“Correct. One Anna, one Meg, one Bela. Bela, what were the three classes of naval vessels at the inception of the US Navy?”

Bela scowled, “Ships-of-the-Line, Cutters, Destroyers.”

“Incorrect, it’s ships-of-the-line, frigates, and sloops-of-war. Ruby, if a sailor’s unable to salute with the right hand, may they salute with their left?”

“Yes.”

“Correct. One for each. Meg, “Must each person in the naval service, coming on board a ship of the Navy, salute the national ensign?”

“True.”

“Correct, Meg two points. Rest one. Anna, what are the names of the first four steel vessels?”

“Atlanta, Boston, Charleston, Constitution.”

“I’m sorry, it’s Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Dolphin. Bela, was one of the three amphibious operations landing in North Africa?“

“Yes.”

“Correct. Bela two, Anna one, Ruby one, Meg two. Ruby, was the Invasion of Normandy on June 6, 1944 during World War Two one of the three amphibious landings?”

“No.”

“Correct. Ruby, Bela, Meg two, Anna one. Meg, which of the following battles happened by surprise: Tarawa Atoll, Battle of Midway, Battle of the Philippine Sea, Battle of Hampton Roads, None of the Above.”

Meg went quiet, eyes seemingly unfocused as she considered the options. “Battle of Midway.”

“True. Meg, you are going on to challenge Cassie for the win. Cassie, will you please join us up here? The rest of you can take a seat.”

Cassie jumped up onto the stage and she and Meg stood opposite each other, giving each other a quick hug before separating to the opposing podiums. “Congratulations ladies. This section is on religious texts.” Dean could feel Castiel tense and Dean let out a harsh sigh. He knew he wouldn’t have had an upper hand but at least he could’ve pretended if he had made it to the final round.

“First to two points wins. Heads or tails, Cassie?”

“Heads.” Gabriel flipped the coin, slapping it over his hand. “Tails. Meg begins. Meg: Exegesis is ‘a noun derived from the Greek verb meaning "to draw out". The technical term for biblical interpretation. The task to draw out the authors intended meaning and apply it to the current world.’”

“True.”

“Correct. Cassie: Nestle-Aland is 28th edition Greek New Testament, true or false?”

Cassie was silent and the moment seemed to stretch on forever before Gabriel called a time warning. “True.”

“Correct. Meg: true or false, Gospel comes from the Greek noun Evangeline which means "good news". The literary genre of Christian narratives that share the "good news"

“True.”

“Correct. Cassie, you must get this wrong to take the match into a tie breaker. What is the criticism of scholars that ‘Seeks to determine how biblical writers have shaped, modified, developed or "redacted" the source material they have inherited. In the interest of their own literary or theological ideas.’”

“Redacted seems like it would be too obvious,” Cassie mused and Castiel frowned. Dean patted him on the leg lightly. “But then again it could be a trick question and it being obvious would make sense.”

“Twenty seconds, Cassie.”

“I don’t know, Gabriel.”

“I’m sorry Cassie, it was Redaction Criticism. Ruby, you’re the winner of challenge two!”

<<<>>>

Cassie’s in the middle of the frame and pouting. “I knew it but I let it go. Oh well, I know Charlie will win her challenge.”

“I sincerely thought Cassie was going to send us into a tie breaker.” Ruby looks relieved.

The shot cuts to Castiel. “That was an easy question.”

It didn’t take the assistants long to move the podiums off of the stage and bring up various items for the Geeks to use. He’s pretty certain there’s a cello up there and a couple guitars. Castiel’s also fairly certain he sees a full set of LARPing armor and a crown hanging off of the mannequin.

“Can I get a beauty to join me on stage?” Charlie asks and Dean’s the first out of his seat. Whatever the little redhead has planned, he’s sure it’s gonna be good.

<<<>>>

Charlie’s up and on the stage first, dressed in what looks like real chain-mail and leather, holding a broadsword that looks just shy of realistic. Dean’s holding a sword and board, getting accustomed to the weight of the shield and testing the balance of the sword. He nods.

Charlie sweeps forward, landing a blow to the shield. Dean stumbles back, further than really necessary, sweeping with his own fake one-handed sword that Charlie easily moved out of the way of. She spun and brought the claymore over her head, forcing Dean to take the full brunt of the attack with his shield.

Dean actually stumbled back that time, not expecting the weapon to have the heft it did. He wasn’t expecting the booted foot that came from his unguarded right, knocking him fully off balance and leaving him sprawled on the ground, broadsword at his neck. He’s hit, a final kick in the ego, by a bean bag as Charlie calls “black magic!”

“I yield.”

The group cheered as Charlie took a sweeping bow, covertly winking at Dean, before yelling over the group, “and that _b*ches_ , is why I’m queen of Moondoor!”

<<<>>> 

 

Castiel’s turn came last, after Lucifer’s god awful speech on law, Ed’s showcase of his TV show, Chuck’s live reading of some on-the-fly writing he’d done (”and it’s nearly as cool as it sounds”), Ash’s tech-babble that Dean lost the thread of pretty quickly, Kevin’s cello recital which was quite good, and Cyrus’ video game something or other (he’d tuned out pretty early on that one).

Castiel coughed quietly, pulling the guitar he’d borrowed onto his lap as he sat on a stool in the center stage and took a final check of the tuning.

 _When I find myself in times of trouble_  
Mother Mary comes to me  
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Dean’s never heard the man sing but wasn’t expecting… well, the usual bass gave way to a warm baritone. The man didn’t have enough faith in his talent by the way he was talking earlier.

 _And in my hour of darkness_  
She is standing right in front of me  
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.  
Let it be, let it be.  
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

The Beatles’ song fit the nerdy little professor. Dean’s entire focus narrows in on the man.  Sure, they’re not besties but he can’t help but think that Cas’ is a turn the other cheek kinda guy.

 _And when the broken hearted people_  
Living in the world agree,  
There will be an answer, let it be.

  
For though they may be parted there is  
Still a chance that they will see  
There will be an answer, let it be  
Let it be, let it be. Yeah  
There will be an answer, let it be.

Dean had expected Castiel to finish the entire song but let the chorus die off to silence before the beauties and geeks stood, clapping. Even Gabriel was on his feet in a standing ovation. Yeah, Cas definitely had this challenge in the bag.

<<<>>>

As things often do, Charlie ended up winning the challenge based on sheer stage presence alone (even if a good chunk of the beauties didn’t understand the appeal of LARPing). The redhead herself falls into the seat beside Dean, legs spread as she reclines into the soft material. “I still think Castiel should have won that challenge.”

“The beauties have spoken,” Dean shrugs and the camera cuts to a commercial for Herpexia.

<<<>>>

Per usual it doesn’t take the pairs long to split off into their respective duos once they make it back to the mansion.

“I’m going to go read until Gabriel calls for the elimination teams,” Castiel remarked as they walk into the foyer.

“Alright. I think I’m going to go into the pool for an evening swim.” Castiel just nods and heads back up the grand staircase to the bedrooms as Dean turns and walks out to the back yard. The sun has almost fully set but the heat hasn’t risen and cooled the concrete and water yet.

It isn’t until he’s taking his shoes off that he realizes he never changed into his swim trunks. He’s about to turn and go back when he hears Lisa calling “Dean!” from the patio. He turns on his most charming grin and walks over to the woman, settling in at one of the wrought iron tables with her.

“Lisa, hey.”

“Who do you think they’re going to send?”

“You and Lucifer, probably,” he answered honestly and she nodded absently.

“Or you and Cas. Maybe Jo and Ed.” She’s fiddling with the cup and Dean leans back, looking up at the open window. Could Cas hear them talking? Did he care? Why did Dean care what Castiel cared about?

“If it was you in that war room, who’d you send?”

“You and Cas, probably, followed pretty quick by Cassie and Charlie if she hadn’t won her challenge,” she replied quietly, taking a sip of coffee from a ceramic mug.

“Can’t fault you that one.” They fall into a comfortable silence as the sun begins to fully set. They’re soon sitting in full dark.

“They’re our allies!” He can hear a woman’s shrill screech of outrage but he can’t pin the voice down for sure. He’s pretty certain it’s Charlie though. She’s hushed by a “keep your voice down!” that he’s almost entirely sure is Cassie’s voice.

“I think I’m going to go relax in the living room. Good night,” Dean said as he pushed out of the chair, walking quickly to the mansion before Lisa could say anything more than a mumbled “g’night.”

<<<>>>

It’s no more than a solid forty-five minutes later that Gabriel walks in with his assistants and camera crew to gather the beauties and the geeks. When they’re lined up in the living area in their pairs, with Charlie, Cassie, Meg, and Chuck at the front with him, he turns to the four up front. “Meg, Chuck, who are you sending?”

“Anna and Cyrus.” Anna just stares like she expected Meg to say otherwise.

“Charlie and Cassie?” Charlie shoots a glare at her partner and stays silent, standing with hands clasped behind her back and in a wide stance. Cassie sighs and looks over the group present.

“We’re sending Dean and Castiel.”

It wasn’t like he hadn’t expected it but it still felt like being gutted. Both Charlie and Chuck were sending them sympathetic looks and Dean’s pretty certain Cassie and Meg are the masterminds behind sending them to elimination.

He glances over at Castiel and all he sees is a blank expression. No tics to give away what he’s feeling at all. A damn fine poker face, Dean thinks. He hopes they get to play poker as a challenge, he’d have it in the bag.

They turn to face Gabriel and the host just motions for them to follow him. “To elimination.”

<<<>>>

Dean and Anna stand up front, each at their own podium while Gabriel stands by where a row of cards would usually sit. “The subject for you two is tenth grade geography, whether you and your partner stay in the game comes down to you as they will not be answering questions tonight. First to three correct answers wins. Dean: What body of water does not border Africa?”

Dean has to fight nervously fidgeting. He knows this, but it’s all up to him. “The Pacific.”

“Correct. Anna: What is a large ice mass that moves slowly down a mountain or over land?”

“A glacier.”

“Correct. Dean: Which city in Australia contains roughly 20% of the residence of the country?”

“Sydney.”

“Correct. Anna: What is the capital of the state of Alaska?”

“Anchorage?”

“Sorry Anna, it’s Juneau. Dean: Australia has been nicknamed ‘the land down under’ because of what geographical feature?”

“The Equator.”

“Correct. Dean, that makes three. I’m sorry Anna, Chuck. You must leave the mansion. Dean and Castiel, I bet there’s some people waiting anxiously for the winners to return. Good night.”

Dean nods and turns, watching Anna and Chuck leave the room as he walks up to Castiel. He pats the other man on the shoulder and they head out, back to the other teams and to bed.

<<<>>>

It doesn’t take long for the drama to start. Dean’s not sure why he thought it wouldn’t happen. Well, at least not to him and Castiel.

Castiel is shooting Charlie, Cassie, Meg, and Chuck dirty looks when they’re turned away and Dean’s getting tired of the animosity real quick. “Cas, can I talk to you outside?”

Blue eyes turn up towards him and he’s momentarily caught in the gaze before pulling the other man along and out onto the patio. When he’s reasonably sure they’re mostly alone, except the camera guy that’s been tailing everyone since they got there, he turns to face Castiel.

“Stop glaring holes into the other teams. It’s just going to make the rest of our stay here awkward around them. You do remember we’re here for a prize, right?”

Those blue eyes narrow and he feels himself cower just a little. The man has a weighted stare. “I do recall that, Dean. However, I was under the impression that we had allied with them.”

“Sometimes allies stab you in the back. I have a feeling it was Meg and Cassie’s doing anyways. We’re a threat and it was a good time to kick us while we’re down.”

“And they didn’t send Lisa and Lucifer in why?” Castiel hasn’t moved an inch and Dean fights wanting to pace back and forth.

“Not play everything all at once? I don’t know, Cas. I’m going to bed.”

“Good night, Dean.”

“Night, Cas.”


	3. Episode Three

Dean slowly closes his eyes, tilting his head back into the pool water as he floats against the wall nearest the doorway. The sun is warm for eight AM and the pool is never cold, so he’d figured it would be best to avoid Castiel instead of getting into another fight with him. He’s not sure why the guy has it out for his — tentative? — allies. Sure, Charlie sent them to elimination but he’s still certain that it’s Cassie pushing to send them home. Probably because they’re a threat.

 They just had to get elimination immunity. Dean groaned quietly as he pulled himself out of the pool and padded over to one of the reclining deck chairs. _Because getting immunity would be so easy._ He sprawls out on the chair, one arm covering his face and let’s his mind settle into silence.

 It’s not until a spiral bound packet of information is dumped on his stomach that he startles and opens his eyes, sitting up sharply. “Oh. Hi there.” He’s not surprised the assistant just gives him a curt nod and disappears. He’s even less surprised by Castiel walking out onto the deck only minutes later.

 “They gave me a fitness instruction guide book, Dean. I run in the morning and that’s it,” Castiel’s trench coat flares out as he stalks towards him and Dean’s mouth goes dry before he remembers he’s annoyed at the stupidly sexy annoying professor. “How am I supposed to do anything in regards to fitness?”

 “You just do?” Dean asks as he gets up. “What’s in the research packet?”

 “Mostly examples of leading fitness routines and leadership skills. Some P90X examples.”

 “So you’re probably going to have to create a fitness routine. I’m not seeing the issue, Cas,” Dean says, frowning.

 “Dean. I run. The only training I do is for marathons. I have no idea how to teach cardio.”

 “So? It’s not that hard.”

“Then teach me.”

 “Yes Mr. Bossy-pants, sir,” Dean replies and rolls his eyes as they walk back into the mansion together. He misses Castiel’s expression darken. “Let me get into my exercise gear. I’ve got my challenge in the bag, it looks like it’s car maintenance.”

 “I’m glad you don’t need my instruction for that, Dean. I’ve never even changed a tire in my life.”

 Dean stops and looks at Castiel, dumbfounded. “You’ve never changed a tire? I’m guessing you don’t do any engine work either?”

 “I pay mechanics that know how to fix my car to do it instead. I just never learned. Didn’t really have a father in my life to teach me things like that,” Castiel says with a shrug as he pulls his trench off. He’s pulling out his workout clothing when he adds, “I drive a '78 Lincoln Continental Mark V. It’s old enough I don’t want to learn how to fix it.”

 Dean’s grateful that he’s sitting down after grabbing his clothes and a pair of workout pants for Cas because if he wasn’t he’d be struggling to stay on his feet as he fights the full-blown chuckles he can’t control. “Oh god, Cas, please tell me it’s not purple.”

 Castiel looks distintly unimpressed with Dean and he has the fleeting thought whether Cas would make a heavy handed dom that enjoys punishment or a loving and giving dom that enjoys a red ass. The image manages to give him a half mast and cut his giggles short. Dean tosses the pants over at Castiel.

 “It’s gold.” Aaaand the chuckles are back, full force. “Dean, seriously?”

 “God, Cas, it’s a pimpmobile. The only thing that would make it better is one of those extended gear shifters,” Dean says as he falls back onto the bed, his sides hurting as he rolls around. Cas’ exasperation only slows the giggles because he gets a sudden image of Cas as a _brook no argument_ dominant for sure.

 “Dean, would you stop and actually focus on the upcoming challenge? We don’t have a lot of time,” Castiel says as he walks to the bathroom to change.

 “Yes Sir Bossy-pants!” Dean calls to his retreating back and stands, pulling on his workout sweats and a black wife beater tank. He’s reminded why Castiel is so aggravating. His giggles subsided quickly but every so often he’ll snort when thinking of the pimp mobile. He’s glancing out the window at Lisa and Lucifer working on their routine by the pool when Castiel walks out in a tight Metallica band tee and running leggings showing off the muscles of his thighs. Arrogant bastard or not, Dean’s mouth goes dry and he’s forced to look away and think of Bobby in a bikini to fight the half mast that’s suddenly _very_ interested. As much as he never wanted to think of Bobby in anything less than his work clothes it works.

 “Okay, let’s go plan out your routine.”

<<>> 

The challenge itself turns out to be a massive pain in the glutes, literally. Dean’s already sworn off ever doing yoga again, especially Lucifer’s special brand of hellish cardio yoga, when it’s Cas’ turn. His thighs ache and he’s pretty certain he’s starting to work out abs he didn’t have before from the insane amount of sit ups he’s done. He’s really, _really_ glad Castiel is last.

 Granted it means Cas’ job is harder since the beauties are all tired, but it’s almost over and Dean’s glad for that. Dean’s sprawled out on the yoga mat he was assigned when Castiel jogs over from the mansion and begins running in place.

 “We will begin by doing twenty jumping jacks. Dean, please get up.”

 “Bite me, Cas,” he groans as he stands, taking up proper form. The beauties chuckle. Cas just rolls his eyes.

 “And begin." 

The workout is simple; they’d figured that if Castiel went in the second half of geeks then something easy with good leading would make up for a creative routine. However, Charlie’s zombie apocalypse routine had been fun; why hadn’t they thought of something that cool? The jumping jacks were just a warm up to a short jog in place and then a set of pushups followed by planking, finishing off with a cool down set of jumping jacks.

Dean’s actually impressed with Cas’ ability to remain cool and collected as he leads them in the exercises. Granted, the guy’s a professor but he hadn’t expected the man to be able to lead so confidently. He was in the top three for sure, beaten only by Charlie and Lucifer.

“Okay, good job all. You all made me tired by just watching!” Gabriel laughs as he walks up, trademark lollipop in hand. “Beauties, you’ll be giving your top two routines and we’ll tally off of that. Beauties, your challenge is next. Please follow me to the courtyard.”

There’s seven cars in the drive leading up to the mansion itself, lined up next to each other. Dean notes that the hoods are already popped. _Probably for the beauties that can_ _’t find the hood latch._

“Beauties, you will be changing all four tires, checking the oil, and changing the window wiper blades. All the materials you need can be found on the dolly,” Gabriel gestures towards a huge man-cave worthy tool dolly, “and you have all the time you need until the first person to finish wins. Beauties, you can request help from your geek for one specific part of the challenge. Once. The geeks can cheerlead but give no extra help aside from the one request.”

As Gabriel’s talking Dean’s taken stock of the tool kit and what he needs to do on the 2010 Camaro SS V8. He knew this challenge would be easy on him but he’d been blessed that they even had the car Sam preferred and always took to Dean to fix. The tires would take the most time but everything looked pretty simple. Jo was his biggest threat, followed by Ruby, he figured. Ash looked like he knew his way around a car pretty well and knew for a fact that Jo did all her own maintenance.

“Ready?” They all nod an affirmative and Gabe blows an air horn. They’re off, most of the beauties getting the jack under the car and lifting the vehicle with relative ease. Dean’s is up first, followed almost immediately by Jo’s, and he rushes to remove all four tires, taking the time to make sure to put the lug nuts in a neat pile where they won’t roll around.

He’s about three quarters of the way into putting the new tires of when he’s gotten too warm to keep on his tank top. He resolutely ignores the catcalls and tosses a smirk Cas’ way; what he’s not expecting is to see the usually stoic professor’s expression darken and look at him like he’s a particularly fine slab of steak or a quality cabernet. Dean turns back to the final tire and begins the process of tightening the nuts before rushing to the engine. It’s still warm enough for an oil test so he’s relatively certain he won’t have to run the vehicle. He’s pulled the dipstick out and cleaned it, pulling it out a second time when he yells over at Gabriel. “Tell your studio guys that they need to change the oil in this SS!”

“What?” Gabriel sounds sort of surprised.

“This Camaro needs an oil change. And it’s low.” He’s moved on to the window blades and slammed the hood down however, so Gabriel just shakes his head and walks back to watching the beauties.

“Dean’s already changing out the window wiper blades! Lisa, you’re still on the tires. Bela, are you having issues finding the oil?”

“Yes!” The Brit calls back and Dean smirks. Yep. In his favor and definitely working against the foreigner. He’s stripped off the old blades and put on the new ones when Bela’s growling some profane remark about American-made cars.

“Dean, you’re this week’s winner. Everyone, you can stop now.” Dean steps away from the vehicle and glances over at a glaring Joanna-Beth. She’d just finished the first window wiper. “Okay, Dean and Castiel, Lisa and Lucifer, you guys will have a couple hours to choose who is going to elimination. I’ll be back for you guys later, _adios_!”

<<<>>> 

“I say we send Charlie and Cassie. You said it yourself, Cassie wants us out,” Castiel says from the bed as Dean leans on the windowsill, listening to Lisa and Lucifer arguing over their choice down below on the patio.

Dean just shakes his head. “I say we send Bela and Kevin. Kid’s wicked smart and Bela plays the game too well.” He doesn’t want to send Kevin exactly, but Bela has been cozying up to Lucifer. “They’re a bigger threat with the alliances they’re making.”

“I wish we could send Lucifer and Lisa,” Castiel gripes and Dean smirks. Yeah, he wished that Lucifer had lost the fitness challenge too since Charlie had come in a close second for outstanding creativity and leadership. Dungeon master, she was.

“So, we send Bela and Kevin. I think Lucifer and Lisa are going to send Jo and Ed,” Dean remarks as he walks back over to the bed, kicking off his shoes before throwing himself down. “They at least have a shot at winning elimination.”

“They say as much?”

“They’re bitching at each other, loudly, but they’ve name dropped Charlie and Cassie and Jo and Ed.”

“Meg and Chuck are a threat too, they’re playing below the radar,” Castiel says as he stands, looking out the window before closing it quietly. “Ruby and Ash are also risky to leave in the game.”

“Then who do we send?” Dean snapped, wincing when he heard his tone. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Dean,” the other man shook his head and leaned back against an overstuffed chair. “I still think Charlie and Cassie are the biggest threat.”

“Let’s send Bela and Kevin. I think she’s a snake.”

“Kevin is quite intelligent. His grasp of language is incredible, but he’s even more socially awkward than I am.”

“Bela is the real threat in that team. She’s smart, charming, and knows how to play a room,” Dean replied, moving to sit up against the headboard.

“I guess we will send Bela and Kevin, then.” Dean just nodded at Castiel’s reply.

<<<>>> 

Dean and Castiel are sitting on the sofa in the living area when Jo and Ed walk back into the mansion living area proper. He can’t help but feel bad that Kevin was sent home, but he’s glad that Jo made it through even with a dumbass for a partner.

“Jo!” He calls, standing and grabbing her as she launches herself into his arms. Squeezing tight her squeak of “can’t breathe” makes him release her. “Glad you made it through.”

“We thought Lucifer and Lisa would send Cassie and Charlie for sure. I was surprised our names were called. Anyways. That was a rough match, I’m heading to bed,” Jo gives him another hug before heading up to the bedroom floor after Ed.

“At least Bela is now gone.”

“Yeah,” Dean replies when he turns to Castiel. “It’s probably time to head to bed.”

“I’m going to stay up a little while longer and read,” Castiel replies, waving the novel in his hand at Dean. He just nods and heads upstairs, trying not to think of how well the AC/DC shirt Cas had changed into fit snugly in all the right places and his baggy sweats showed off glimpses of sharp hip bones when Cas stretched just the right way.


	4. Episode Four

Day six dawns and Dean’s already awake, sitting with his coffee on a patio chair looking out at the back yard and surrounding manicured hillside. Where he’s usually the first one up even daybreak is a little early for him. He’s caught a little off guard when he hears the patio door click shut behind Lisa.

 “Hey. You’re up early too I see,” she says as she settles into a chair next to Dean with her own coffee. “It’s like the ass crack of dawn.”

 “Couldn’t sleep.” And he’s being honest, just not telling her the whole truth. He’d woken up to pee, but he’d felt Castiel in bed next to him and of course inappropriate thoughts of the guy that obviously disliked and was only politely cordial to him had popped into his head. He had escaped to the bathroom as quickly as he could without waking up the grump monster.

 They’re quiet for probably close to an hour and Dean’s lost in his own head when Charlie walks out with fresh coffee and her own mug. “Want more coffee, guys?”

 “You’re a goddess, Charlie,” Dean grins.

 “Naw, just the queen,” she chuckles with a wide, smug grin and pours both him and Lisa both a fresh cup of coffee. She pulls up a chair near Dean’s and curls up into it, shivering lightly. Dean pulls off his zip-up hoodie and gives it over to her.

 “You’re insane, that’s what you are actually.” She just shrugs and pulls on the jacket. Lisa is looking at them curiously, obviously seriously considering saying something by the sour lemon look she’s sporting.

 Dean decides to ignore her and lean back into the chair, taking a large sip of the fresh brew and slowly closes his eyes as it warms him.

 It’s a few hours before the rest of the people in the mansion wake up and make their way out onto the patio. The sun’s warmed the ambient temperature up almost a full twenty degrees and Dean’s already pulled off his long sleeved tee (with Lisa and Charlie catcalling him, he’s not entirely sure which one started it).

 Castiel sits in the chair most recently taken up by Charlie, whom had moved over to chat with Jo. It was looking like it was turning heated.

 “Should we intervene?” Castiel asked quietly, eyebrows raised a fraction.

 “Naw,” Dean replied quietly, shaking his head at Lisa as she stood to break up the fight when Jo snarled something just loud enough for the sound of her ire to carry.

 Charlie was obviously checking out Jo when the other woman wasn’t looking, but Dean wasn’t sure if it was sexual or competitive — or perhaps a mix of both. “Let them work it out.”

 Charlie stalked away when Jo said something and sat heavily down beside Dean. “God, she’s so insufferable.”

 “Going to have to agree to that.”

 He feels Castiel shift closer to him when Lisa stands up and he glances up at the geeky professor. His laser sharp focus was flickering between Lucifer and Lisa.

 “Whoa, buddy, if looks could kill,” Dean whispers to Castiel and gets the look turned on him for good measure. He raises his hands in placation. “What did Jo say?”

 “Nothing,” Charlie pulls her knees up closer to her chest as she curls up on the deck chair. “When’s the next challenge?”

 “Gabriel hasn’t been by yet.”

 And speak of the devil — Gabriel, not Lucifer— was coming up the concrete path to the mansion. “Heya there Beauties! Geeks!” He sticks a lollipop into his mouth while they wander towards the host.

 How the hell didn’t Gabe have shitty health yet?

 “We got a little pre-challenge for you all.”

 “What’s the pre-challenge?” Dean asked, leaning back.

 “I’m glad you asked! You’ll all be filling out a survey based on what you think your loved one back home would say to the question. Person who gets the most answers correct wins a head start.”

 Dean frowned. He’d expected the show to interview Sam, but ask him questions to test how well he knows his brother? He sighs and kicks back.

 “Bring it on.”

<<<>>> 

“Alrighty then, the assistants will bring out your individual quizzes. Have fun with this, the head start tomorrow isn’t a guarantee to win so win or not you’re not at a disadvantage. If you lose, however, I can’t guarantee your loved ones won’t take drastic measures.”

 The assistants scurry out and quickly give each of the beauties a paper with a series of questions.

  _Where was Sam born?_ Lawrence, KS.

  _What is Sam_ _’s birthday?_ Easy, May 2, 1983.

  _Where did Sam go to school?_ Various schools around the country, he’s currently at Stanford.

  _What was Sam_ _’s first girlfriend?_ Sam’s first girlfriend? Dean frowned, thinking back to what he knew about his younger brother throughout the years. That girl, Brittney? He honestly wasn’t sure.

 The survey was pretty much the same the entire way through, getting harder and harder progressively. Dean’s chewing nearly entirely through his pen by the final question, thankfully not a doozy and a half like: _What is Sam most guilty about?_ He’d’ve blown the challenge just to protect the overgrown moose for sure.

  _Who is Sam dating?_ Amelia _._

Dean shoves the paper back at Gabriel’s assistant and sprawls back against the deck chair. He almost hopes neither he or Sam ever find out which ones he got wrong, or perhaps worse, correct.

 Charlie and Castiel both finish at the same time, pushing away their papers and sprawling back next to Dean. “Dude.”

 “Dude.” Dean agrees with a chuckle, glancing over at Jo. She’s gone through two pens and well on the way through chewing through the one she’s using. “I wonder what they asked everyone?” He whispers, only getting a shrug in response as Gabriel glances over with a raised eyebrow.

 Dean grins and waves before kicking back and taking one of the beers that Lucifer offers as he walks over, sitting down next to Castiel.

 <<<>>> 

Gabriel’s assistants bring an index card-sized folded piece of paper, handing it over to the host as the cameras return to him. “So, beauties and geeks, how do you feel you did?”

 There’s a unison groan in response. Gabriel just laughs and opens the piece of paper, looking at each one of them in the eye before turning the paper around. “Congratulations, Joanna Beth!”

 “Only my mom calls me that!” She calls from the back of the group, raising her beer to the closest camera in a mockery of a salute. Dean can’t help but laugh at the mental image of Ellen’s bitch face, almost as good as Sammy’s (with more threat of physical violence), at that.

 “Sorry, _Jo_ ,” Gabriel’s shit-eating grin shows just how much his apology actually means. And he’ll probably keep using her whole name. “You and Ed get a head start on tonight’s challenge and I’ve brought you all study materials. This one isn’t seperated into beauty and geek challenges, instead you need to work together with your team mate.”

 Dean glances over at Castiel as Castiel glances over at him and they just nod quietly before looking over at the assistant walking over with a stack of research materials.

 “Good luck, and I hope you know how to shoot a gun!” Gabriel says cheerfully as he steps back and the cameras sweep over the group before turning on the host walking towards the front of the house. “I’ll be back at six!”

 “Alright, well, c’mon Cas. Let’s go study,” Dean says as he stands, brushing off his jeans and tilting his head in the general direction of the small lake sitting garden. Castiel just nodded in response and they left quietly, ignoring Lucifer and   
Lisa’s odd looks.

 Gabriel returning at six gave them just over five hours — give or take given that they had to make lunch eventually — to cram the material and get ready for the challenge. What kind of challenge would have them working as a team but shooting a gun? The fucking _Hunger Games_?


	5. Episode Four: Challenge!

It’s the fucking _Hunger Games_.

 “I bet you wonder what your challenge entails, beauties and geeks?” Gabriel asks, standing when they finish eating dinner and the camera turn onto him. “Well, let me put your pretty little minds to rest. You’re going to be playing a game of last man standing paint ball, post-apocalypse style!”

 Dean can feel his jaw drop a little. Fucking seriously? Dean groans as they all sit at the huge party table at a small restaurant near the warehouse they’d be playing in.

 “Since Jo won the pre-challenge, Jo and Ed get a five-minute head start. This gives them a chance to pilfer anything they so desire from the course _and_ find a good hiding spot to pick you guys off from!”

 The group as a whole groan. _Fucking Hunger Games._

 <<<>>> 

 “Begin!” Gabriel’s voice came over the PA and the remaining teams ran to the center for any loot or caches they could see before scattering into the run-down art district paintball field. Dean and Castiel hung back near the entrance sweeping the buildings nearest for better weapons than their standard issue pump actions before slipping into the back alleys.

 “Dean, look over at the ivy wall. Isn’t that a cache?” Castiel’s voice was more a rumble than a whisper.

 “Yeah, I think so. Looks like a new gun too. Should we sprint over?” They ducked behind a wall, glancing out at the empty road. “It looks empty.”

 <<<>>> 

 Charlie breathed in slowly as she took aim, just sopping herself from pulling the trigger when she saw a familiar mop of hair. She turned to face the city scape, watching from the twenty-foot tower she and Cassie had holed up in and found a sniper rifle at the bottom of. “See anyone yet?”

 A round of gunfire went off on the far north side of the field and Cassie whispered, “Lisa is down. Ed just got her.”

 <<<>>> 

 Dean bolted across the road, snagging the gun as Castiel grabbed the bag. They just managed to slip into a small box painted as a store front before the another team rounded the corner, snarling at each other.

 “Dammit Chuck!” Meg’s voice rung across the street. “How the hell are we supposed to—” Meg’s tirade ended as the muffled sound of gunfire went off and Meg groaned. “Dammit.”

 Dean’s pretty certain that the shot had come from further away. A sniper? “Here, Cas, take the rife. I think there’s snipers hidden somewhere.”

 “Should we go after them?” Castiel was interrupted by another muffled report. Chuck sounded like a kicked puppy when he was hit.

 “Meg and Chuck are out,” Dean whispered as he peeked out the doorway.

 “Beauties! Geeks! Twenty minutes until the zombies are let free!”

 Dean and Castiel glanced at one another scrambled out of the store and down the street, keeping to the shadows as much as possible.

 <<<>>>

 Charlie followed Dean and Castiel’s movement before swinging back to the east side of the playing field. “I thought I saw Ash and Ruby heading out way. Keep an eye on the east side.”

 <<<>>> 

 Dean and Castiel had gotten really lucky, honestly, when they stumbled over a cache tucked away in the back on an alley. Literally, in Dean’s case. It was matte black and tucked into the darkest part of the shadows, a gun (some kind of muffled rifle) laying over it. Dean managed to roll to avoid getting hurt before he hit the ground hard with a muffled “oof!”

 “Dean, are you okay?”

 “Yeah, Cas. Fine. What’s in the cache?”

 “The gun looks kind of like a sniper. There’s a couple paintball grenades and what looks like a can of spray paint?”

 “It’s probably a smoke bomb,” Dean said as he stood up, wiping his pants and grabbing the gun. “It’s definitely a sniper. Let’s find high ground.”

 <<<>>> 

 Charlie watched as Jo and Ed slowed to a crawl near where Lucifer was lying in wait. He’d abandoned his partner early into the game, _served the asswipe right_ Charlie reasoned.

 “Cassie, Jo, Ed, and Lucifer are on the far north side. Should I take them all out?”

 “Nah, let them take Lucifer down. See if he gets any shots off. Ruby and Ash are sneaking over to the south side hospital building.”

 “Beauties! Geeks!” Gabriel’s voice came over the PA again, “fifteen minutes until we release the zombies!”

 “We good up here, Charlie?”

 “Unless they give the zombies guns, I don’t see why not. We can shoot them when they’re making their way up the ladder. Well, until we’re out of ammo,” she replied softly, army crawling over to the opposite side and tracked Dean and Cas to a watchtower. _Atta boys._ “You see anyone?”

 “Not anyone I feel like giving away our position to. Taking out Meg and Chuck was risky.”

 “So, we wait them out? See who gets plattered up for lunch first and haul ass back out when we’re the last team standing?”

 “That’s the plan.”

 Oh, they are so screwed.

 <<<>>> 

 Dean took the stairs two at a time to the top of the “sky scraper” building, settling into a snipers nest. “Nice, two caches. What’s in ‘em Cas?”

 Castiel knelt next to him, going through the box. “Another smoke grenade. A few grenades. A couple guns. Oh, and a plastic backup knife.”

 “Not bad. We can launch the paint grenades at zombies from up here when we’re back tracking to the winners line,” Dean said with a wide grin. “Should we abandon our roost as soon as Gabriel calls for the final two teams to get back to the winners box?”

 “Not a bad idea. Maybe we should watch the winners box for the other team and take them out instead?”

 Dean crawled over to the east side, eyeing the ‘cityscape’. “No, no good line of sight directly at the winners box. Probably set up so we can’t do just that.”

 “Then yeah, we’ll have to run back and get there first,” Cas knelt down by one of the windows, looking out with his binoculars. “Jo and Ed, heading to the center plaza.”

 “The center plaza, why?”

 “No idea,” Dean heard Castiel reply as Dean took up position next to him. Two shots and Ed was sprawled out on his butt. Three shots and he finally managed to hit Jo.

 “I take it you weren’t your units sniper?” Castiel drawls and Dean shoots him a glare.

 “I was trained! I just spent most of my time as a medic,” he said sticking out his tongue and looking out at the battleground again. “Want to bet another team’s hiding in that water tower?”

 “Probably. Should we watch for them or focus on other teams?”

 “You keep an eye on it. I bet they’re using those windows and hiding in there for cover. Try and figure out whose up there.”

 Dean crawled back over to the south wall, watching for movement.

 <<<>>> 

 “Charlie, look out at the center plaza. Jo and Ed are down but I can’t see another team nearby,” Cassie hissed, but never took her gaze off the surrounding area. “Wait, no, there’s Ash.”

 “Think he and Ruby took out Jo and Ed?” Charlie asked as she moved next to Cassie, taking aim at the man glancing out of a doorway.

 “Probably.” Charlie pulled the trigger and Ash winced when the paintball splattered over his chest. “Hit a little close to his face, huh?”

 “Could’ve been his balls,” Charlie replied as she watched for Ruby. It wasn’t long before the brunette fox stuck her nose out, laden with Ash’s weapons, and ran for cover in the building down the alley. Charlie let off a few shots before ducking for cover as paint balls splattered behind her and Cassie. “Holy shit.”

 “I think we’ve been spotted,” Cassie remarked dryly and Charlie couldn’t help but laugh at the other woman’s tone.

 <<<>>> 

 “Dammit, I missed the person standing there,” Dean groaned, “by like, two inches.”

 “I think it’s Charlie and Cassie. I thought I saw red hair as she pulled from the window.”

 “Should we try and take them out from—”

 “Beauties! Geeks! The zombies are free!” And there was a roar from the zombies as they ambled up from the center plaza where they’d previously been laying, still as corpses.

 “Okay, screw Charlie and Cassie. We’ve got to watch the stairs.”

 <<<>>> 

 Charlie took aim and released a volley of shots at the far sky scraper, hitting the edge of the window as a body ducked. “I think that’s Dean and Cassie — err, Cas.”

 “Really?” Cassie knelt down beside Charlie, looking over at the far window. She saw a gun poking out before a few paintballs flew at the zombies. “We need to start heading back to the winners box.”

 “Good idea.” Charlie pulled out a smoke grenade and handed two of the paint grenades over to Cassie. “Throw them when they get about ten feet away. Try not to hit the zombies full on, though. Make use of splatter damage.”

 Cassie nodded, taking the grenades and pulling one of the backpacks back onto her back.

 <<<>>> 

 Dean threw one of the gym bags over his shoulder and glanced at the clip. “We’ve got a few shots left.”

 “Maybe you should switch to the desert eagle?” Castiel asked, handing one of the two pistols that had been in the sniper’s roost caches.

 Dean snorted as he took the gun, inspecting it. “This is a Sig Sauer. Not a desert eagle.” Cas just rolled his eyes and they decended down the many floors. “Toss a grenade if you see more than one zombie in a group. Use your gun otherwise. Think there’s any more caches?”

 “Not filled, I’d suppose. We might get lucky though.”

 Dean couldn’t help the thought that provoked and turned away from Cas to hide his blush. He coughed quietly and glanced out the window. Two quick shots and the zombie ambling towards them was on it’s back. “Which...” Dean had to clear his throat, ”um, which way is the winners box?”

 “East. Let’s get moving,” Cas whispered as he took the lead, quietly padding towards the alleyways best hidden in shadow.

 <<<>>> 

 The paint grenade went off and Charlie spun, eyebrows raised as she looked back at a sheepish Cassie sitting down. “It slipped.”

 Charlie couldn’t help the giggle and shook her head. “Never thought my teammate would be flattened by being clumsy.”

 “Go win it for us!”

 “Yeah, yeah,” Charlie replied when she managed to sober up and started towards the winners box, pistol in one hand and a paint grenade in the other, smoke grenade ready at her hip.

 She quietly ran building to building, peeking around corners for the remaining team. She’d taken down Ash and Ruby and Joanna and Ed herself. Since being shot at in the water tower she was certain Cas and Dean were still in the game too.

 The report of a gun cut off her thoughts as a zombie fell a few streets over. She ducked behind a garbage can, checking her clip before peeking around the corner. Lucifer jogged by.

 Who else was left? She breathed out for five counts, centering herself to slow her brain. Okay, for certain Jo, Ed, Lisa, Meg, Chuck, Ash, and Ruby were down. That left Lucifer, Dean, and Castiel. Lucifer was alone, she was alone, and Dean and Cas had each other. It was weighted against her favor but she’d done better with worse odds. This wasn’t that different than LARPing.

 She continued towards the winner’s box, listening for the sound of boot steps. She readied the gun and peeked around the side of a building, eyes narrowing to see two figures scurrying into the alley over. She shot off four rounds.

 <<<>>> 

 Two rounds flew by them as they ran into the alley. Cas grunted as one hit him in the side. “Dammit.”

 Dean was pretty sure Castiel knew who hit him, but now that he was hit he couldn’t share his thoughts. He ducked behind the wall and tossed a smoke grenade to dash to the next closest alley.

 Shots flew through the smoke at where he had just been, splattering against the wall as Castiel laid and covered his head.

 He returned fire but was pretty sure he’d missed the shots. He retreated back into the alley and ducked behind a green dumpster, readying a paint grenade and watching for movement.

 Lucifer snuck across the alleyway entrance and Dean shot three times, hitting in quick succession. The man dropped and glowered at Dean. Dean just grinned.

 Dean just about had a heart attack when a zombie came at him from a building connected to the alley. He dropped her with a single shot to the solar plexus covered by Kevlar.

 He slowly moved towards the mouth of the alley and glanced around.

 <<<>>>

 Dean looked right over her. Charlie was certain the medic had seen her but he just continued to assess the street as the smoke cleared.

 To toss a grenade or to shoot him? She figured he was also running low on ammo since she was damn near out already. Her choice was made for her as a zombie started ambling towards her. She took aim and hit him twice just below the chest, fully in the Kevlar vest, and turned to toss a grenade at the oncoming zombie.

 She ran faster than she ever had at any LARP event, hoping to outrun the zombies that were gathering and turning to follow as soon as they spotted her (or were given orders: she was pretty certain that the game masters were giving them locations). She tossed her final grenade.

 The paint flew everywhere as it landed and she was off again, running in a zigzag as she ducked behind an overturned car, near the wall of a general store.

 She tossed her only smoke grenade and ran full-speed to the checkered doorway, breaking through the ribbon covering and sliding to a stop and took huge, ragged breaths as soon as she reached Gabriel.

 “And we have a winner! Congratulations Charlie! She and Cassie will be sending two teams to the elimination round!” Gabriel yelled over the PA system. “Everyone, please gather at the town square!”

 <<<>>> 

 Dean and Castiel stand side by side. “Too bad we didn’t win.”

 Castiel just shrugs and glances over at Dean. “We did our best. You did really well even when I was hit.”

 The group watches as Cassie and Charlie walk up to the raised platform where the caches had been. “Charlie, Cassie, you need to choose the two teams right now.”

 Cassie and Charlie glance at each other, whispering something, then turning to Gabriel. Charlie speaks first, “Lisa and Lucifer.”

 Cassie goes second when Gabriel turns to look at her. “Ruby and Ash.”

 “Okay, Cassie, Charlie, please go stand with your fellow teammates. Ruby, Ash, Lisa, Lucifer, please all come up here. Stand by your partner.” Gabriel nods to the two thin tables that had been set up and he walked to the podium at the head.

<<<>>>

Dean groans as soon as the hot water sloshes down his back, rinsing away the speckles of paint on his neck from the splatter and loosening his muscles. The game had been fun, if harrowing, but he was really starting to feel the last twenty-four hours as exhaustion caught up to him.

 There’s a knock at the bathroom door. “I’m in here, need something?” Dean calls out.

 “We’re going to have a midnight snack while we wait for the team to come back from elimination,” Charlie says from just outside the door. “What do you want?”

 “I dunno, what are you guys making?”

 “Chips, cookies, cake, that kind of stuff. I think there’s pie. Maybe some s’mores. Oh, maybe we should order pizza!”

 “I’ll have a slice of whatever pie’s available,” Dean answers as soon as he hears pie. Charlie walks away laughing and Dean turns into the water stream, scrubbing shampoo through his hair and drying off as quickly as he can.

 <<<>>> 

 Dean sits down on the floor just in front of Castiel with his pie, glancing up just long enough to nod his greeting. Cas nods in return and continues to nibble at his chips.

 “How long do you think it’ll take them?” Cassie asks from the fireplace, the roaring and crackling impossibly loud in the quiet that follows.

 “Who knows,” Ed finally says, taking a drink of his beer. “It could be tomorrow if they really want us to sweat about it.”

 “’Spose so,” Dean replies, setting aside the empty pie plate and looking not-a-lick embarrassed at the look Castiel gives him and then at the plate. “Whenever it is, one team will be coming back.”

 <<<>>> 

 The sound of arguing is the only warning the group gets as Lucifer and Lisa walk into the mansion, looking at the now-silent cast. “What?”

 “I take it something happened?” Jo asks from the recliner, looking over at the doorway.

 The two just glare and walk in separate directions, Lisa to bed and Lucifer out back onto the patio.

 “Ooookay,” Charlie finally breaks the silence, “something happened.”


	6. Interlude

All of the eliminated cast members stand side by side in front of Gabriel. The host turns to the camera and grins, pulling the lollipop from his mouth. “We have one more twist this season. Two of these fine people will be returned to the mansion for a second chance at a quarter of a million dollars.”

 Gabriel turns to look at the cast. “Geeks, beauties, will you please take a seat at the tables behind you? You’ll be answering questions about your loved ones back home, last standing geek and beauty will be returned to the game as a team. This team may not be your original team, and for some of you it may be your chance at the game in a team.”

 The camera follows the geeks and the beauties as they sit, separated by geek and beauty, in what looks like a lecture hall. The tables sit in ascending platforms to give each person a direct view of the front of the room.

 “We will begin with the beauties. Ruby, you were eliminated last round. What is your best friends name?”

 “Lilith.”

 “Bela, you were eliminated the week before last. What’s your best friend’s name?”

 “Abaddon.”

 “Anna, you were eliminated in week two. What’s your husband’s name?”

 “Michael.”

 “Cole, you were eliminated in week one. What’s your wives name?”

 “Emily.”

 “Krissy, you were also eliminated in week one. What’s your adopted father’s name?”

 “Victor.”

 “Alright. Let’s begin. Ruby, when was Lilith born?”

 “September eight, 1983.”

 “Bela, when was Abaddon born?”

 And so it went until Ana was asked three rounds later, “Anna, what was your and Michael’s first date?”

 “We went to a park and had a picnic.” But from her expression she’s seriously concerned she’s wrong.

 “I’m sorry Anna, Michael answered that you and he went to a coffee shop on the campus of your university.”

 And it continued, people dropping like flies in the next few rounds until only two remained.

 Gabriel’s next question was pulled from a hat, “Cole, Bela, one of you two will be returning to the mansion, one will not. Cole, what is your wife’s biggest regret?”

 “Letting me go into the military.”

 “Bela, what is Abaddon’s biggest regret?”

 “Letting Fergus Crowley take over her senior position in the last production company she worked for.”

 Gabriel drew a question at random. “Cole, you and your wife have been together how long?”

 “Four years, eight months.”

 “Bela, how long have you and Abaddon been friends?”

 “Five years.”

 “Incorrect. Abaddon answered six years and a month as of July. I’m sorry Bela, Cole will be returning to the mansion.” Gabriel turned to the geeks. “Okay geeks, your turn. Ash, you were eliminated last round. What is your roommates name?”

 “Andrew, goes by Andy.”

 “Kevin, you were eliminated the week before last. What’s your mother’s name?”

 “Linda.”

 “Cyrus, you were eliminated in week two. What’s your older brother’s name?”

 “Jacob.”

 “Becky, you were eliminated in round one. What’s your BFF’s name?”

 “Guy.”

 “Alfie, you were also eliminated in round one. What’s your sister’s name?”

 “Hester.”

 “Ash, when was Andy born?” Ash looked curious for a moment.

 “In 1983?”

 “The date?”

 “Dunno.”

 “I’m sorry Ash, you’re out.”

 And so it went, Cyrus and Alfie being eliminated in rounds two and three. “Becky, Kevin, it’s down to you two. Kevin, who was your mother’s first boyfriend?”

 “A guy named Ash, not the Ash here,” Kevin replies, cutting off Ash before he could say something.

 “Becky, who was Guy’s first relationship?”

 Becky looked off into the distance, seriously mulling over the question. “Laura?”

 “No, I’m sorry. Kevin, you’re returning to the mansion. Becky, geeks, beauties, you may leave now and return to the hotel our sponsors provided.”

 Kevin and Cole walked up to the front of the room, following Gabriel out of the lecture hall and to the waiting SUV. The SUV drove off towards the next challenge.


	7. Episode Five

Dean’s rudely awoken by Castiel of all people pushing on his shoulder. “Dean! We need to gather in the living room. Gabriel is here. We’re getting breakfast catered and then going immediately to challenge.”

 Dean sighs as he slides out of bed and winces at the harsh morning light. “Jesus. Why is it so bright?”

 “It’s like ten, Dean. Now go get dressed and presentable.” Castiel shoves him into the bathroom with a hastily thrown together outfit and closes the door on him. Dean manages to shuffle through his morning routine and stumble into the kitchen.

 “Good. Sleeping beauty has woken up. Hopefully not by true love’s kiss,” Gabriel smirks and points to the SUVs waiting. “Now, each team gets their own SUV and driver. Off to breakfast! I’ll explain the challenge when we’re done eating.”

 <<<>>> 

 Dean’s not sure he’s ever eaten as much as he did at the buffet. It had all looked delicious and Castiel was definitely giving him one of his patented Dom stares. Dean’s not sure if he should shrink away, get a boner, or sit up straighter. He’s already started on the second and third options.

 Gabriel turns to the group when he’s up on the restaurant’s band stage. “Okay! Today’s challenge starts with the beauties; you all get to give your geek a full makeover! You’ll have a limit of $1,000 that you can’t go over and four hours. This means you’ll have to figure it out before you get up to the register or you’ll have to put stuff away.

 “Beauties, we’ve arranged for transportation for all of you to our sponsors, Bull’s Eye Clothing and More, storefront here in LA. You’ll do your shopping and be brought back to the mansion where you and your geek will meet with Mr. Tang, a local hair stylist.

 “This is about how well you know your geek and how good of a job you do at making your geek over. Have fun! Your time starts… now!”

 The beauties scrambled to get out of their chairs, Dean ruffled Cas’ hair without thinking as he bolted towards the door. He missed the odd look the professor gave him before shrugging and returning to his food.

 However, Gabriel wasn’t finished. “Geeks. You will get time with your beauties to study for whatever extra time they have during the next four hours and an additional two hours before we leave from the mansion at four. Questions?”

 “What is our next challenge?” Charlie asked from the farthest end of the table.

 “That you will find in the research material we give you at two. Now, off to the mansion!” Gabriel shoos them from the restaurant and back to the SUV’s waiting by the valet.

 <<<>>> 

 Dean bit his lower lip. During the fitness instructor challenge, Castiel had fit his clothing very well. He was only a couple inches taller than the professor, but a little bulkier from working on cars and saving people, where Castiel was lean from running.

 He rifled through the shirts, thinking back to Castiel’s style on the first day. That stupid trench _had_ to go, but he was pretty sure he’d be vetoed on that. So, he had to work around it. They could just leave it in Castiel’s luggage instead of using it in the challenge. Yeah, he’d talk Cas into that.

 Castiel had worn a full suit the first day, navy, not very well tailored. Obviously he couldn’t go that same route without his geek here. The same thing would happen; he’d get him an ill fitting suit and it’d look just like the navy one.

 “Okay, Cas would like…” Dean mumbles as he stops on a band tee. The band tee! He could play up Cas’ casual style. The dude was already freaking attractive as it was, he just had to get him into something that would _help_ rather than hinder his image. And maybe he’d be able to talk up a tailored suit to Cas after the show.

 Wait. After the show? Dude would probably never want anything to do with him again. Dean shakes his head and sighs, pulling out a new AC/DC shirt. Or what about a flannel? Or a solid color? Dean bites his lip and decides he’d better go with his first choice, the band tee; the pants would be the make or break, not the tee, Dean reasoned. He could get them longer and just roll up the bottoms or shove them into a pair of boots. If they fit right he could just let them cover the shoe.

 Boots. Yes. Dean spun and bolted to the other side of the store. He’d moved Cas’ shoes from the front of the bed more often than he hadn’t in the last week (I mean, who just _leaves_ their shoes at the foot of the bed when they’re sharing a room?) when he tripped over them. He had a good idea what size Cas would fit. He pulled out a pair of biker boots and glanced at the size. Twelves, close enough.

  He had to get the pants. The goddamn pants.

 So, he figured Castiel was close to his waist. He started there. He was also a little shorter than Dean himself, so he figured the inseam would be similar. He glanced over at the front of the room and almost dropped the pair of dark-wash jeans he’d picked up when Cole walked in. The hell was Cole doing here?

 He turned back to the challenge. He didn’t have long until Gabriel returned for them. He glanced at the price tags, doing mental math. Eight hundred, eight fifty at the most? He could splurge on a good belt.

 The belt was the easiest part, he grabbed the one a size larger than his own and started towards the cash register. He turned again but slid to a stop when he spotted a leather jacket. It looked a little distressed but perfect for the little nerd. He grabbed it from the rack, double checking the size, and added it to the pile of clothing. Perfect.

 He realized too late that Lisa was in front of him, currently at the cashier. She glanced back, double taking before leveling him with a glare. “You got lucky, you got a same-sex partner.”

 Oh, how close to the truth. He snickered. “Yep. And he can wear my clothes. Combining wardrobes rocks.”

 Lisa turns back to the cashier until what he said seemed to have finally processed. She spun to face him after putting the money by the card reader. “Wait. You’re _gay?_ No wonder you never reciprocated my flirting!”

 Dean sighed. Of course she’d figure it was a dichotomy or bust. He just managed to not roll his eyes as he said, “no, Lisa, I’m not. There are people that play for both teams. Not everyone is gay or straight.”

 She blushed a brilliant pink and turned back to the snickering cashier that just managed to cover her mirth with a cough. “That’ll be $992.50 ma’am.” Lisa shoved the money forward, taking the receipt and change.

 Dean chuckled as he watched Lisa attempt to casually run away. He handed over the clothing.

 “945.75.” The cashier said, handing him the bag as he handed over the cash. A few minutes later he was out and at the SUVs as Gabriel called the ten minute warning. _Nice_. That probably gave them a solid two and a half hours at the mansion with the hair guys.

 <<<>>> 

 Dean’s shoving Castiel into the barber chair the second that he’s made it back to the mansion, sprinting into the home and pulling Castiel away from his research materials; ignoring a very confused “Hello, Dean?” “C’mon dude!”

 “Dean, I really don’t—” Castiel’s cut off by the hair stylist swooping in and throwing the bib over his chest, draping him in the black material.

 “Okay, what are we doing with Mr. Handsome today?” Dean can’t help the flare of _the fuck you mean by that?_  

 “We’re going to leave his hair mostly alone. I was thinking maybe shorten it a little, tame down the craziest of it but leave it as sex-hair-like as possible,” Dean’s spouting off details as he’s pulling clothing from the shopping bag. “I’m dressing him in casual biker.”

 “Can do,” the stylist turns back to Castiel and bites his thumb lightly, eyes raking over Cas’ face and hair before getting to work.

 “Dean, I really don’t get why this is such a big deal.”

 “Cas, man, you’re hot under the geeky professor hair and clothes you got goin’ on,” Dean’s said it before he can think about how _creepy_ that is, but mentally shrugs it off. He’s said worse, and at least he wasn’t lying or insulting anyone. Dean’s turned away so he misses the blush that creeps up onto Cas’ face.

 “How’s this?” The stylist asks, turning Castiel around to face Dean, showing the cut at each angle. The hair’s swept off of his forehead but cropped close to his face on the sides. The best part, Dean is glad to say, is that the stylist managed to keep that _just fucked_ look with the cut but still managed to clean up the worst of the length from lack of haircuts.

 <<<>>> 

 Castiel walks out of the changing station built next to the salon and Dean’s mouth goes dry. He pushes against his thigh as he twists his wrist, coughing quietly to cover any suspicious sounds.

 The leather jacket was a great addition to the already casual-bad-boy-hot outfit. It hugs him in all the right places where the band tee hangs just tight enough to give the illusion of what’s underneath. The jeans, miraculously, fit him correctly too, hanging over the boots so just the foot can be seen. The stylist had gotten Cas’ cut perfect. 

 “Uh. Wow. Cas, you cleaned up nice. You’re going to surprise everyone, that’s for sure.”

 Yeah. He’s fucked. He’s totally into the undeniably attractive professor and the professor probably still hates him.

 “Thank you, Dean,” Cas’ voice is more sex and whiskey than he’s noticed before. Jesus Christ, Dean’s seriously hoping he can restrain himself. The UST between now and the end might kill him.

 Dean jumps to his feet and walks over, carefully popping the collar of the jacket before artfully rearranging it so it wasn’t _quite_ pressed down. He couldn’t help himself as he ran his hands over Cas’ arms, pulling away like he’d been burned when he realized just how inappropriate that had been.

 “I… Um,” Dean’s saved by Gabriel appearing seemingly out of nowhere with his, “Dean-o!”

 “Gabriel,” Castiel nods, glancing at Dean with a look of _what_ _’s his issue?_

 “Come on, Cas, it’s time to come back stage with the other geeks. You’ll get your chance to strut your stuff,” Gabriel crowed as he grabbed Castiel and muscled him back towards the backyard. 

<<<>>> 

The Geeks came out one by one, each looking smarter (no, not in the intellectual sense, they had that covered) as they took to the runway in the back yard. Dean’s surprised that Charlie out of her lavishly geeky-chic and into a dress and heels manages to still skirt the femme side of androgynous.

 Lucifer’s usually impeccable style is loosened and given a casual look. Ed’s still hopeless. Chuck manages to spiffy up but looks like he’s going to wet himself with all the beauties looking him up. Cole’s managed to make Kevin’s casual look a little more presentable by dressing him up in a style similar to Castiel’s new look. Dean rolls his eyes; fitting that the two vets would both go for a leather coat over a tee.

 By the sounds that the other beauties are making, they agree with him for the most part. Castiel gets the loudest reaction and a few lewd whispers with one wolf whistle from somewhere near Lisa. “I’d bang ‘im,” Meg chuckles and Dean shoots her a dark look.

 “Okay, beauties, you all get to vote for the geek that made the greatest transformation — Not the geek that’s now the hottest!” Gabriel clarifies as he hands out slips of paper. “Give your number one and your number two.”

 Dean absolutely will be voting for his own geek. Castiel went from frumpy, yet adorable, professor to casual and cool professor that’s actually in this century. Charlie’s name gets put on the second line; he’d been surprised to see the change between geeky girl to night-out chic.

 <<<>>> 

 “Castiel is the winner! Good job Dean. The two of you will be told what the challenge is on the way to the challenge site. You get to choose one team to travel with you.”

 “Charlie and Cassie,” Dean and Castiel say in unison, nodding to each other appreciatively.

 “Alright. Cas, Charlie, Cassie, Dean, head out to the SUVs. You four get a head start of ten minutes. Oh, and take this,” Gabriel winks at Dean as he hands over a folded card. “Have fun! See you there!”

 The four bolt to the nearest SUV.

<<<>>> 

Castiel settles in front of Dean, letting Charlie sit next to Dean. “So, what is the challenge?”

 Dean cracks open the seal as soon as the doors shut and the engine rumbles to life. “Oh you have got to be kidding. I knew it would be this challenge.”

 “Dean?” Charlie asks, confused.

 “Every season they have geeks pick up hot women. Cas, please tell me you know how to pick up a woman,” Castiel colors lightly at Dean’s question and he rubs at his neck. “You don’t. Okay. Charlie?”

 “I can hit on women for sure,” the woman winks and Dean can’t help but chuckle.

 “Given that there’s only one winner, I have a feeling that it will one team choosing two teams to go to elimination. If Charlie or Cas win, we won’t send each other right?”

 Cassie purses her lips and says nothing while Charlie enthusiastically nods her head. “Of course, Dean,” is all Castiel says about it.

 “Okay. Cas. You have to be forward. Use some of that ‘I don’t give a flying fuck what you think is socially correct’ confidence you have,” Dean says before glancing out the window. They were in one of the downtown shopping areas by the looks of things. “I can’t coach you while you’re out there, but I have no worries that women will ever ignore you.”

 Castiel just rolls his eyes but smiles slightly, just an uptick of one side of his mouth. “Sure, Dean.”

 Charlie frowns. “Dean. Do you think Gabriel will make me hit on men?”

 “Why would he do that?”

 “Heteronormativity is a thing, Dean,” her eye roll actually may have been better than Sammy’s. Points to her.

 Dean has to give it to Charlie though, he’s not sure how the challenge will go for Charlie. He glances down at the card again and reads out, “the geeks will be giving their best pick-up lines. The geek to get the most numbers in the time limit will win.”

 “I think the loophole is written into the challenge,” Castiel says after a moment of silence. “It doesn’t give a specific gender, it’s just assumed that the geeks are all heterosexual or doesn’t want to restrict to hitting only on the opposite gender.”

 Dean looks up and at Castiel, really looking at him. “Who will you be hitting on for numbers, then?” He’s obviously asking out of curiosity of how the challenge will go.

 “I’ll probably ask anyone that I think will play along,” Castiel shrugs.

 “Charlie?”

 “I can’t flirt with guys, Dean. I don’t know how!” She actually looks a little panicked. “And the only reason I won’t be attacked for hitting on a straight girl is because we’re in the heart of LA.”

Dean’s brain comes to a standstill with the screech of tires and all. He hadn’t even considered homophobia playing a part of this challenge. Damn. Maybe the people walking around would be previously told about the Beauty and the Geek being filmed there? Nah, that wouldn’t make sense. Why would the show risk people giving away spoilers. “Just be careful,” he hasn’t been worried about hitting on someone of the same sex since moving to Palo Alto. How had he forgotten the bar fights he’d started by hitting on the wrong guy?

 “Of course, Dean.”

 <<<>>> 

 Castiel’s calm shatters as soon as they’re standing at the top of a staircase leading to a large courtyard. Dean’s forced to grab onto his shoulder to make Castiel look up at him.

 “Cas, man, you have to relax. You can do this.”

 “Dean, there’s a reason why I’m single. I hate trying to get numbers.”

 “You can do this. You can. You’re hot, you’re smart, you’re charming. You got this.”

 Castiel’s muscles relax and Dean breaths out. “Good. Go get ’em tiger. I’ll be right up here.” He gently pushes Castiel to the first step and leans on the balcony, watching the geeky guy walk into the masses of people. Eyes instantly turn on him and a few women are quietly whispering amongst themselves as they watch him.

 Well damn, Dean wasn’t expecting people to actually approach _Cas._ Maybe he’d done almost too good of a job? Dean’s eyes narrow as he watches a twink saunter up to Castiel, touching his arm and smiling before giving his number with a wink and walking away.

 It’s ten minutes later when Gabriel and the others arrive. Castiel’s already amassed at least ten numbers, and he’s pretty sure Charlie’s doing well for herself too.

 “Okay geeks, you’ve got half an hour to get as many numbers as you can. You can either head down now, or take a few minutes with your beauties. The clock starts now,” Gabriel says and walks back to Balthazar. The later winks at Dean from afar. Dean rolls his eyes as looks back down at Cas striking out with a _really_ hot man.

 Dean’s not sure if he should be surprised that there’s a pit in his stomach and it’s rolling each time Cas walks up to another person. He’s also unsure if it’s reflex, anxiety, or jealousy.

 Sure, he’s got a thing for the smoking hot professor and all, but it’s not like he holds any claim on the man. Even though Cas is comfortable hitting on people of any gender, and seems to be preferring men, it’s not like he is _necessarily_ anything other than straight… right?

 Dean groans into his palms. He flinches away from Lisa’s comforting pat on his shoulder he hadn’t expected. When he opens his eyes, looking over at the woman, she’s much closer to him than he’d expected.

 “How’s Castiel doing?”

 “Really well with the men, actually.”

 Lisa looks curiously at Dean and finally shrugs. Dean doesn’t care enough to question, so he just turns to search out Castiel. He almost has to laugh, the geeky professor is kneeling beside a child as the mother writes down her number.

 Lucifer is apparently catching up rapidly with the ladies flocking around him, batting their eye lashes. “Lucifer seems popular.”

 “I’m not surprised. While he looked good before, he needed to loosen up,” Lisa replies, leaning on the balcony next to him. “I figured they’d mob him when they realized he’s trying to get numbers.”

 They fall silent for a moment before Lisa breaks the silence, asking, “this season feels radically different, doesn’t it?”

 Dean has to admit he’s been thinking the same thing. Where before they had vapid beauties and socially inept geeks, this year they’d thrown a huge wrench into that. Sure, the beauties tended to still be better at social settings and the geeks had knowledge but the stereotypes didn’t really apply.

 “I’m not sure what they’re playing at. They probably lost a lot of viewers because they played up stereotypes so much. I’d be surprised if some of the people on the show were really that dumb.”

 “They also had more diversity this season,” Lisa reasons quietly, glancing over at Balthazar and Gabriel. “I guess they got hit hard in the ratings.”

 Dean just shrugs.

 “So, I wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have assumed your sexuality like I did.”

 “It’s fine, Lisa.” Dean just wants this conversation to end. “Bisexual erasure happens, I’m not surprised you immediately went to the dichotomy. Let’s just let it be water under the bridge.”

 “Alright,” Lisa nods, still looking oddly at him, before turning back to the geeks.

 <<<>>> 

 “And times up, geeks!” Gabriel calls from the balcony after wedging himself between Dean and Lisa. “Come up here and we’ll tally for the winner!”

 Some of the geeks, okay Chuck and Kevin, bolt back while the rest gather and return at a more leisurely pace. The pads of sticky notes are dropped off with Gabriel and sent to the assistants for counting.

 Dean and Castiel sit side by side outside of an ice cream shop, reclining on the bench while the counting is checked and rechecked. “You did really well, man.”

 “Thank you, Dean. That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I’m a little surprised that some people came up to me, however.”

 Dean chuckles and closes his eyes as he lets his head lull back, soaking in the sunlight filtering through the sky lights. “Man, I’m not. Some people are really forward when they like what they see.” Castiel blushes a light pink but Dean misses it.

 “Okay, guys, we’ve got the results!” Gabriel yells from the balcony and Castiel pulls Dean up and towards the group.

 “It was a really close game. Lucifer, you got 22 numbers. Castiel, you got 21 numbers, and Ed came in with 12. Congratulations, Lucifer, you and Lisa won this challenge and will be sending two teams to elimination. You may talk for five minutes if you need.”

 They share a look and nod. “We’re sending Meg and Chuck and Dean and Castiel.” Lisa says from her place next to Jo.

 “We will be doing elimination immediately. Dean, Castiel, Meg, Chuck, please come stand on either side of me.”

<<<>>> 

Dean collapses onto the mattress of their bed when the beauties and geeks make it back later that night. “Damn Cas, you really saved us. That one was rough.”

 Castiel just shrugs, sitting on the edge to take off his boots. There were more bags of clothes in the room and he kneels next to the closest when he notices it. “Dean, did you get more clothes?”

 “Nah.”

 “Then why are there more clothes in my size?”

 “I bet the assistants got to go on a shopping trip,” Dean remarks with a grin. “More clothes to keep you lookin’ smokin’.”

 Castiel just rolls his eyes and Dean covers his eyes with his arm. The quiet is shattered when Charlie raps hard on the door. “C’mon. Movie night to celebrate being final five pairs!”

 Dean opens his eyes to turn and look at Castiel, eyebrows raised. “Might as well.”

 Castiel just shrugs and grabs a pair of sweat pants before walking into the bathroom. “We’ll be out in a moment, Charlie!”

 Dean grabs a pair of his own lounge pants and changes quickly, tossing his dirty clothes into the laundry pile. Castiel walks out not even a few seconds later.

 <<<>>> 

 Dean’s pretty sure Charlie chose tonight’s double feature, Two well known works of cinema in the Star Trek franchise, The Man Trap and Trouble with Tribbles, which has caused a quiet argument between Charlie, Lucifer, and Ed about the merits of Star Trek and Star Wars and why either one is better than the other. Opinions fly as the lights dim and Dean and Castiel curl up in the back of the room, pressed up against a pile of pillows.

 Dean can feel Castiel next to him, warm, inviting. There’s less room than they usually give each other, too, and Dean’s heart wont slow enough for him to even pretend he knows which episode is playing first.

 Cas’ hand brushes Dean’s thigh and his heart rate picks up, spiking before slowing a fraction when Castiel relaxes further back. He can now feel Castiel’s arm against his own, warmth spreading from skin to skin contact.

 Maybe he should have worn a flannel. Yeah, he probably should have worn at least a long sleeved tee.

 It isn’t until the episode is nearing it’s resolution that he even sort of comprehends the plot and Charlie is walking over to the computer projecting the DVD. “We’re going to watch the ‘Trouble with Tribbles’ episode next.”

 “Are you okay, Dean?” Castiel whispers and it’s too close. Too warm. He manages not to flinch away and cracks a small smile.

 “I’m fine, Cas, thanks.” Castiel doesn’t look like he believes Dean but let’s it go, reclining back against the pillows and turning his attention on the TV.

 Castiel’s hand eventually makes it way to Dean’s knee, absently running his thumb over the material.

 Dean looks over at him, but Castiel’s attention is entirely on the TV show. Before long, Dean moves his hand — gradually — to cover Cas’. Cas doesn’t pull away.

 It’s the middle of the episode when Castiel tucks in close to Dean’s side, moving his hand to their fingers interlock and Dean glances down at the blue eyes staring up at him.

 <<<>>> 

 Charlie let’s the credits begin to roll before she gets up with a languid stretch, padding over to the computer to pause the DVD and turn on the lights. She’s not entirely surprised to find the two men who pinged her gaydar the hardest kissing in the back, curled together with a blanket resting over their legs.

 Dean has one hand buried in the hair at Castiel’s nape, leading the kiss before letting Castiel take control and move him as he so desires. She coughs lightly, smirking as the two glance up — guiltily — and notice that the lights are on and everyone’s staring.

 She decides to give them a break and winks before wolf whistling. Jo breaks in with her own and soon the rooms in uproarious laughter while the two men blush furiously. 

 Charlie glances over at Lucifer and Lisa, having stayed to their own corner, looking over at Dean and Castiel with unreadable looks. Cole, also in the far corner, looks somewhere between uncomfortable and unimpressed.


	8. Episode Six: The Pre-Challenge

Really, nothing changes the following day except that Lisa, Lucifer, and Cole all make an effort to avoid Dean and Castiel at all times. Dean’s pretty sure it’s not for homophobic reasons, at least in Lisa’s case the other two could go either way, but more along the lines of scheming against the remaining players.

 He’s also not entirely surprised when he sees Kevin stalking away from Lucifer, pulling Cole along with him.

 “What happened between those four?” Dean murmurs quietly, arms wrapped around Castiel’s shoulders as they relax on a pool chair.

 “Probably didn’t get something they wanted,” Castiel whispers, stretching in an almost feline manner before nuzzling his nose into Dean’s neck. The camera’s been on them for a while, but has finally abandoned them in favor of the drama between teams.

 Dean tightens his arms around the other man, watching Lisa storm off with Lucifer into the house. “Haven’t seen anyone that upset since… Well, nevermind.” Dean chuckes quietly. They remain curled up together quietly until Charlie comes out in a dramatic fashion a little more overdramatic than her usual drama.

 “Dean! Cas!” Cassie jogging up behind Charlie, grasping her wrist. The grip is quickly knocked aside, and Charlie drops down beside them. “Lisa is saying the absolutely worst things about you two.”

 Dean’s eyebrows go up and Castiel frowns. “What… What is she saying, Charlie?” Castiel asks slowly.

 “She says you two are playing up a romance for the show because of how much you two didn’t get along in the very beginning. It’s like she’s never read any enemies to lovers fan fiction!” Charlie growls and Dean just manages not to chuckle.

 “It’s not like they’ll air anything that could be considered slander, Charlie. She’s just pissed that Kevin and Cole are pissed.”

 “What do you mean?” Cassie asks, arms crossed in front of her chest.

 “They had an alliance go bad, we think,” Dean replies before Castiel can. “They’re lone wolves again.”

 Charlie lifts her head, cocking it to the side after a moment of thought. “Jo and Ed are still in the game and willing to side with us, let’s make one large alliance to kick out those four.”

 “Jo and I have had a de facto alliance since the beginning,” Dean replies, shrugging just hard enough to dislodge Castiel from his chest. When the other man moves to fully sit up, Dean let’s him go. “I guess Gabriel was pulling out all the stops to get people on the show since almost everyone here is connected to him or each other in some way.”

 “You and Jo know each other from before the show?”

 “Yeah, her mother is my… Well, she’s basically my adopted aunt. I worked at their roadhouse for most of my teen and early twenties when I wasn’t in the service. Perfected the burger I won the first challenge with there, it’s still called the Winchester Gospel there even though I’m out in Palo Alto now.”

 “And how do you know Gabriel Dean? Cas?”

 “I met Gabriel through my brother, Jimmy. He knows Lucifer, and by proxy, Gabriel.”

 “Through my brother, actually,” he shrugs and chuckles at Castiel’s sly glance. “Apparently the Winchester boys both play for both teams.”

 Charlie’s giggling breaks their _moment_ and Dean raises his eyebrows. “Charlie?”

 “You two hooked up and there’s still some serious eye sex going on!” Unfortunately, that’s when the camera guy had made his reappearance and got their heavy blush as it happened.

 “Shuttup,” Dean chokes out and stands with a cough. “I’m going to uh, find Jo and Ed.” Dean grabs Castiel and pulls him towards the mansion.

 “Try their room if they’re not in the kitchen!” Dean flips her off as they walk into the mansion. Unfortunately Lisa was sitting with Jo and Ed in the kitchen, coffee all around and a fresh pot brewing.

 “Dean! Cas!” Jo calls and waves him over. Castiel shoots Dean an uncomfortable look but follows as they make their way over.

 “Hey, Jo,” he says, sitting beside her and taking Cas’ hand that’s on his shoulder, the other man pressed up against the back of the chair.

 “I heard the damnest thing earlier,” Jo begins and Dean watches Lisa scramble to leave.

 “It’s okay, Lisa, we know what you’ve been saying,” Dean smirks in her general direction before turning back to Jo. “I suppose it was the sexual tension. We finally snapped,” he whispers conspiratorially and Lisa stalks off. The group breaks into uproarious laughter.

 “Oh Dean, that was amazing. You probably should know, though, Cole’s been giving you the most wounded and disgusted looks.”

 “Dude’s probably further in the closet than I was,” Dean shrugs, resting his head against Castiel’s chest. “I don’t know what it is about him, but he really comes off as closeted.”

 “Your gaydar faulty?” Ed asks as he walks in, taking a cup of coffee from Jo. “Thanks, Jo.”

 “No problem, Ed.”

 “I thought you and Charlie had a thing, Jo?” Dean cuts in, eyebrow raised, looking between Jo and Ed.

 “I’m not into your cousin, dude,” Ed laughs. “I have a boyfriend back home. Harry.”

 “Oh.” And Dean takes a second look at him. “You didn’t ping my ‘gaydar’ dude. Good to know we’re a big queer family here.”

 Charlie had walked in a few moments after Ed. “Aw, good to know we’ve got the L, G, and B covered!”

 Dean glances over at Charlie as she walks over. “Who is the G?”

 “You know, I never actually thought about it. Ed, Cas, are you two bi or gay?”

 Dean glances up at his… boyfriend. That would take some getting used to. “I don’t really label myself. I guess the closest is bisexual with a male preference.”

 “So, homoflexible! Ed?”

 “Bi.”

 “Okay, so we have the L and B covered,” Charlie chuckled. The conversation is cut off by Gabriel’s assistants walking in to drop off a packet of research material. One of the assistants breaks off from the group and returns to Dean and the group.

 “Gabriel will be coming to collect you guys this evening for a pre-challenge. Please stay in the living area until he arrives after dinner.” And the assistant leaves without waiting for questions.

 “I wonder what the pre-challenge will be?” Charlie asks as she opens the book. She can’t help the laugh and the group turns towards her. “Well, the geek challenge will be something to do with drinking and clubs.”

 “Bar tending?” Castiel asks, paging through his book as he moves from Dean’s side and into the chair next to him.

 Dean rests his hand on Cas’ thigh as he opens the beauty’s booklet. “And I’m going to bet the beauties have to play poker. This’ll be fun, right Jo?”

 Jo just laughs, “it will be when I hustle everyone!”

 “Hey, you’re not going to win. Not all of the beauties here are as bad as truckers,” Dean grouses, leaning back and moving his hand to wrap his arm around Cas’ shoulders. “Ellen would kill us if we lost, though.”

 Jo scrunches up her nose, “no kids of mine lose at poker!” She mimics and the group laughs.

<<<>>> 

Dinner was nice, but everyone’s on edge with the upcoming pre-challenge match. It could be anything related (or not) to the challenge.

  “What could it be?” Lisa finally breaks the silence as they lounge in the living area. Dean shrugs, feet kicked up onto the table as he slouches on the couch, running his hand through Cas’ hair as the other man reads over his material from his headrest on Dean’s stomach.

 “It could be anything,” Ed says what everyone’s been thinking since the morning.

 “Well, it does in a peripheral way.” Gabriel says as he walks in, cameras tailing him. He double takes at Dean and Castiel before replacing his jovial expression. “We’re going to a karaoke bar.”

 “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Dean and Castiel say at the same time.

 “This should be fun!” Charlie cheers.

 <<<>>> 

 The bar is loud between sets, only going quieter than a dull drone of speaking when there’s someone worth listening to up on the stage. Dean’s not sure he’s ever been this nervous. He plasters on a fake smile, striding up to the microphone as he begins to sing the first line of “I’m Too Sexy.”

 He doesn’t really remember a whole lot of the other performances besides Castiel’s  _Eye of the Tiger_ and Charlie’s _Waling on Sunshine_.

  <<<>>> 

 “And the night’s winners are!” Gabriel begins from the stage, “the beauty and the geek that didn’t butcher their song entirely and had the most fun with it. Dean and Charlie!”

 The group clapped and Dean turned a little pink. “So, what do these two fine people get?” The group went quiet. “The two teams will be given teachers for the challenge tomorrow!”

 The others groan and Dean just manages to hide a smirk. He wouldn’t need help with winning poker, but he was glad that Castiel would be getting help with learning to bar tend. There’s only so much that he can teach him about something he doesn’t do very often and Jo probably wouldn’t want to help the competition.

 “Oh, and my dear beauties and geeks?” Gabriel falls silent for a tense moment. “The winners won’t be choosing who goes to elimination. They’re safe, everyone else goes to a double elimination round.”


	9. Episode Six: The Challenge

“Dean, a double elimination.” Castiel is wearing holes into the carpet with his pacing.

 “Yeah.” Dean’s sprawled out on their bed, shirtless and in his sleep pants.

 “A double. Elimination. Round.” Castiel stops in front of Dean and Dean moves to sit up.

 “Cas, shut up and come here,” Dean says with a sigh, pulling his partner into his arms. “Calm down. We will do fine tomorrow. If we are a team that doesn’t win, we will still rock the elimination challenge.” He pressed a kiss to the mess of black hair and sighed, moving to press his head against the crook of Castiel’s neck.

 “Let’s get some sleep, then, Dean.”

 “That’s a good idea.”

 <<<>>> 

 The morning of the ninth day in the mansion dawns and all hell breaks loose. If there was ever a spat between the people living there, it was rehashed and new arguments sparked at the most unexpected moments. Dean’s pretty sure it’s making for great TV.

 His arm is loose around Castiel’s shoulders, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb into the bulk of Castiel’s arm muscle without really thinking. “Guys, can we not fight for like three seconds?”

 “Lisa’s holier-than-thou attitude is really getting under my skin,” Jo bitches from the kitchen table.

 “Yeah, Jo? How about you go back to that backwoods roadhouse you work at?”

 “Whoa, stop right there,” Dean says just as Jo growls, “see? Holier-than-thou attitude. Bitch.”

 Lucifer snorts from his place across from Dean and Castiel, reclining back on one of the couches. “Says the lovebirds that detested each other.”

 “Hey. We did not detest each other. It was mutual dislike based on a poor first impression. My dick very much did not detest Cas.”

 Cole grimaces but bites his tongue. Probably for the best because Charlie squeals, “ew! Penis talk!” as she escapes to the kitchen with Jo.

 Dean drops his head back on the back of the couch. _Please let this be over soon._ It’s not that he wants to leave the mansion and return to daily life but he’s getting really sick of Lucifer and Lisa.

 “Seriously guys, can you just shut up so I can read?” Kevin bitches from the patio, voice coming through the open doors.

 “Not like more studying will help you,” Cassie remarks, just loud enough for Kevin to hear, as she reclines at the kitchen bar, cup of coffee steaming in front of her.

 “At least I’m not good at only one thing,” Kevin throws back and Dean groans. Could they _not?_

 So, of course, Cole has to fuel the fire. “So, Castiel, aren’t you a biblical scholar?”

 “That is one of the things I study, yes. I teach and research theology.” Castiel tenses up, so Dean gently squeezes his shoulder.

 “So, Christianity.”

 “All religions. Buddhism, pagan religions, most of the Judeo-Christian religions. Why?”

 “Didn’t the bible dictate man shouldn’t sleep with another man?”

Dean closes his eyes and counts to ten. Twice. It’s Castiel that manages to remain calm and reply, “that specific passage also states that you shouldn’t wear a garment of two fabrics. I see your shirt and pants, and I’d bet your fake leather shoes, and probably your underclothes are all multiple materials. The same passage says no seafood; so Cole, how was your dinner last night? The shrimp was lovely wasn’t it?”

 Cole’s somewhere between blowing a fuse and the blood rushing from his face.

 “There’s other passages that people point to, of course. Cole, you’re lucky that my thesis for my PhD was actually on religious text and homosexuality. You see, homosexuality isn’t a new thing. However, the word, the terminology, homosexual is. So, whenever you see ‘homosexual’ in the bible, it’s a mistranslation and bastardization.

 “Also, Gomorrah wasn’t smote for their homosexuality. Instead, it was smote because of crimes against humanity. It was a very bad time to be female, after all.

 “Additionally, Jesus said nothing against homosexuality. He did, however, say plenty of other things that many people disregard.” The room had gone completely silent. Cole had lost the color in his face. “You see, he preached against divorce. I hope you and your wife remain together. I’d never hope for someone to have to struggle like that. See, compassion and sincerity is another of his teachings. Oh, I’ll have to send you my thesis or you can find it through your local university, here comes Gabriel.”

 Gabriel walks in with his eyebrows sky high. “I heard someone get reamed a new one. I sincerely hope that all got caught on camera.”

 The group turns in unison to look at the camera man hidden off to the side. When had he shown up?

 “Dean, Castiel, Charlie, Cassie. It’s time for your head start private lessons.”

 <<<>>> 

 The lessons went as well as one can assume. Only so much can be taught in an hour. Dean’s glad he spent so much time as a rebellious teen and moody early-twenty year old hustling people in Texas Hold ‘Em.

 That would come in handy. And now he had to beat Jo. It was time for revenge for all the time’s she’d beaten him over the years.

 Dean and Castiel, Charlie and Cassie are the first team to sit at the poker table in their finest outfits. Charlie wore the dress Cassie had put her in, Cassie wore a classy black number, Castiel was in his suit, and Dean had dressed up his usual semi-casual button ups.

 The rest of the beauties and the geeks walked in not even ten minutes later, all looking their finest. “Hello beauties, geeks. We’re going to be playing a nice round of Texas Hold ‘Em. I hope you studied well because if you lose with your hand, your geek has to strip one article of clothing.

 “Geeks, now you get to be the arm candy for your lovely beauties. Stand behind them like the trophy you are!”

 Castiel tensed as he pressed forward against Dean, one hand pressing lightly to his shoulder. “It’s okay Cas.”

 Castiel relaxed his grip but didn’t move back from Dean.

<<<>>> 

Jo and Dean stared each other down, the geeks sitting behind the beauties that had folded down two articles of clothing already. Dean’s hand wasn’t bad, in fact it was a likely win, but Jo’s poker face hadn’t cracked.

 Why didn’t the geeks get to play instead? Castiel’s poker face would make everyone fold.

 Dean upped the bid and leaned back, resting his head against Castiel’s very much clothed warmth. Jo fidgeted and Dean fought back a smirk. He had her.

 She folded. Dean laid out two pairs and Jo swore. Violently. “You mother fucker! I had a higher river!” Dean grinned and Gabriel laughed from his perch as dealer, tossing out a new hand for the beauties. Ed was forced to take off his undershirt.

 The next round was shaky for Dean and Cassie swept in for the win with a flush. “Sorry Cas. Shirt off.” The wolf whistles began in earnest.

 “Beauties, this is the last round. The poor geeks don’t have much left,” Gabriel said as he tossed out two cards to each beauty. Lisa folded immediately and Lucifer grimaced.

 Two tens. He was probably already in the lead. He reclined against a half-stripped down Castiel and leaned into the warmth of his hand, soothingly stroking through his hair.

 Jo leveled him with a glare. She couldn’t lose this round. Cassie folded and whispered an apology to Charlie, forcing the redhead down to her underwear.

 The river card was dealt and Dean glanced down. “Showdown.”

 Jo nodded and laid her cards out. Dean put his down. Gabriel whistled low. “Dean and Jo, which one of you has the winning hand? Dean, you have a three of a kind and a two of a kind. Jo, so do you. Dean, your pair of tens and the three nines against Jo’s three sevens and two fours means you win this challenge, and you and Castiel are safe from elimination.”

 Dean collapses back against Castiel, breath leaving in one long rush. He can feel Castiel chuckling and he bet’s that gummy grin is plastered on his face. “Good job, Dean.”

 Dean just grins.

<<<>>> 

“Okay geeks, are you ready for your challenge? It’s the next door over.”

 It’s not more than fifty feet away when they begin to feel the heady thump of music and see people dancing in flashing lights. Before they walk in, Gabriel nods to the bar. “Geeks, you’ll be bar tending for the next hour. Patrons will be rating you. Go get ‘em tigers!”

 And the geeks are off, moving back behind the bar and getting used to where all the drinks are. Dean slides into a chair at the farthest end by Jo and Cassie. “Think they’ll crash and burn?”

 “Hopefully not crash, and especially not burn,” Jo remarks. Dean snorts. Poor Cas.

 <<<>>> 

 Castiel’s been busy since he stepped back behind the bar, even with all of the geeks working, and Dean has yet to be served by his partner. Not like they’re there to serve the beauties, the patrons come first, but Dean really feels for the poor geek.

 Charlie is having a blast, sliding drinks to patrons with a wide grin, and to some of the prettier ladies a “Call me later?”

 Lucifer has been holding his own all night, keeping up with the rush of drink orders and flirting with everyone that crosses his path. He’s even teased Castiel a time or two, leaving the professor blushing and Dean fuming.

 Kevin’s just hopeless. Really, the kid’s more likely to break a glass than Ed, and Ed’s floundering hard.

 The night is winding down when Gabriel saunters over twenty minutes late. “Eh. Sorry geeks. The employed bar tenders are back now. Let’s meet out front in fifteen.”

 <<<>>> 

 They crowd around Gabriel in pairs less than ten minutes later, nerves rendering them silent.

 “Okay geeks, you all… almost all did a great job tonight being a bar tender. But, only one of you can win this round.” Gabriel looks at each geek individually. “Kevin, Ed, you both were atrocious. Charlie, Castiel, Lucifer, you guys made it look easy. But, who wins and which teams go to elimination?”

 Castiel tightens his grip on Dean’s hand and Dean squeezes in return. They’re safe no matter what, but someone’s going home and he hopes it’s not his friends.

 “Lucifer, you won this round.” Damn. Lucifer smirks and gives Lisa a quick squeeze. At least Cole would be going to elimination, but that still left Charlie or Jo as going home.

 “We’ll be going to elimination as soon as we return. Winners, I bet you’re wanting to get home and to bed.”

<<<>>>

Lisa glares at Lucifer for a moment from her bed before looking out the dark window. “Dean and Castiel are playing up a romance for the show, I just don’t understand why. It won’t help them.”

 Lucifer sighs, “maybe they know something we don’t. Dean was saying he knows Gabriel personally, I think through his brother.”

 “Like there’s some sort of popularity contest or something?” Lisa asks, eyebrow raised. Lucifer doesn’t respond.

 Cassie reclines against the wall, looking at Lucifer and Lisa, lips pursed. “They may be playing it up, but I bet we can break them up if we put enough pressure on them.”

 


	10. Episode Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gabriel decides he wants to be RuPaul.

The house is quiet the next morning. The final three teams. Dean and Castiel, Lisa and Lucifer, and Charlie and Cassie. They’re two challenges away from a quarter of a million each.

 Dean looks down at the booklet the assistants had left before the group had woken up, leafing through the material, nothing really sticking so early in the morning.

 He feels arms wrap around his waist and a warm, smoky voice whisper, “hello, Dean.”

 “You’re up,” Dean replies quietly, turning to face Castiel and press a kiss to his lips. “The assistants left booklets. I think it has to do with drag.”

 “Drag?” Castiel looks curious as he opens the booklet, one arm still wrapped around Dean. He chuckles when the first image is of Ru Paul. “Yes, drag.”

 “Are you a secret Ru Paul fan, Cas?” Dean teases, sliding his coffee over to Castiel. “Lisa and Lucifer are going to absolutely blow their shit.”

 “Lisa and Luci will blow their shit, why?” Charlie asks as she walks into the kitchen, pulling out a mug for coffee. “Is that material for the next challenge?”

 “Yep. Look at the challenge.”

 Charlie cracks hers open and almost snorts coffee. Coughing, she splutters, “you’ve got to be kidding me. Luci will blow a gasket.”

 <<<>>> 

 Lucifer… blows a gasket. “You’ve got to be shitting me!”

 “I think Lucifer found out what the challenge is,” Dean snorts, taking a long sip of his coffee as he and Castiel sit on the patio, helping each other study.

 Charlie just manages to cover her giggles with a coughing fit when Lucifer comes storming out onto the deck. “This is rigged!”

 “And why would it be rigged, Lucifer?” Castiel asks, cool, calm, collected. If Dean wasn’t as close to Castiel as he is right now, he’d’ve missed how Cas’ jaw is twitching.

 “There are six people left on the show, three of them are LGBTABCD,” Lucifer begins and Dean narrows his eyes at the man. Charlie makes an annoyed sound. “Are you not noticing just how rigged in your favor this is?”

 “Darling,” Dean puts on his best falsetto southern belle drawl, “drag shows aren’t just for them queers. No one’s stopping you from watching the ladies’ preform.” And now Charlie is actually coughing after breathing in too quickly, unable to avoid the giggles. Dean smirks over at her, then turns back to Lucifer with a wink. “Seriously. You don’t have to be gay to dress in drag.”

 Lucifer stalks off, fuming into the kitchen bitching the entire way.

 “Well that went splendidly,” Charlie drawls after catching her breath and the group breaks into laughter again. “So, Dean, what’s Cassi--- Castiel’s drag queen name?”

 “Should be snarky.” Dean muses, reclining and staring at the handsome cut of Cas’ jaw and bright blue eyes. “Cassie something.”

 “Do I have no say in this?” Castiel sighs and Dean can’t help the smile that can’t be contained.

 “Sure you do, Cassiopia!” Gabe crows as he walks into the room, trailed by camera men. “Beauties dress their geeks in drag, but it’s a team effort.” Castiel rolls his eyes, leaning back to watch Lucifer and Lisa join the group, followed by Cassie. Lucifer still looks like hellfire and damnation. “Alright, you’ll have access to my assistants to get your drag outfits accessorized! We’re beginning… now!”

 <<<>>> 

 Dean bites at his thumb lightly, one brow raised delicately and a hip cocked out as he leans against the dresser. Castiel – No, Christian Cassie – is dressed in virginal white, wrapped up in layers of silver and white silks and velvets. The center piece of the outfit are huge white wings that trail behind him that rival Victoria’s Secret angels’. Castiel takes a steadying step forward on platform heels Dean can’t help but associate with strippers. The other man is remarkably steady on the ankle-breakers.

 “How do I look?” Cas drawls, batting heavy lashes on shadowed eyes at Dean and blew him a kiss. Dean can’t fight the laugh.

 “Like an angel, angel.” Dean pushes forward to kiss the over-drawn, perfect red pout. “You’re gonna knock ‘em dead, babe.” The camera man covers a choked laugh. “No one asked you, Steve.”

 <<<>>> 

             Lucifer – Luci Lawless – embodies his namesake, draped in a blood red evening gown and heavy seductress makeup. He’s notably taller in five inch heels, remarkably steady in the platforms for a man so resistant to the challenge material.  Phi Phi O’Hara’s “Bitchy” blares over the radio as the man lip-syncs to the upbeat lyrics.

            Dean, on pain of death, won’t admit it but he recognizes the routine Lucifer is doing as heavily influenced by the music video, down to hitting a TV with a sledge hammer and giant BITCHY lights in the background.

Dean can’t help but consider just how fitting the lyrics are for the man on stage, but that thought is derailed when said man in question stumbles and falls flat on his padded ass to a roar of laughter from the audience.

Dean has to fight back a laugh when Charlie – Charming, Prince of Moons – struts onto the stage to RuPaul’s “Supermodel (You Better Work!)” begins playing over the loud speakers, tossing her white jacket aside to reveal a silk backing to the suit shirt below, the orange matching her heels. She’s rocking a well fitted suit and cummerbund, height added with incredibly sparkly platform heels that disappear into her pants leg, the heels and toes just peeking out. The heels are the only pop of color besides her red hair, the suit a dashing white and black.

She struts the red carpet laid out over the stage, posing for phantom photos. She works it on the runway, following the lyrics. The music fades away before the supermodels are named.

They’d chosen the campiest song Dean could find. Castiel struts out onto the stage, hips swinging to the pulse of Alaska Thunderfuck 5000’s “Your Makeup Is Terrible”. Dean had thought it would be easiest to play Castiel’s natural awkwardness off of Alaska’s character. It was already working as Cas drops to a squat, waggling his fingers, as Alaska keens “Hi!”

“Welcome Christian Cassie!” Gabriel crows over the heavy pulsing beat.

They’d gone with replicating as much of the music video as possible, beginning with Castiel lip-syncing around nibbling on a leaf before standing and swinging around the stripper pole, pushing back an intern wearing a horse head.

He turns to point at the audience, “are you ready?” And rips his wig off, twisting to the music to show off well defined back muscles before wiping away perfectly done eyeliner and lipstick.

The music cuts short after.

<<<>>> 

“Beauties! Your challenge is squarely in Castiel – or should I say Christian Cassie—‘s court! I hope you haven’t burned too many bridges.” And with those final words Gabriel bounds off to where ever the hosts are squirreled away, leaving the beauties and the drag royalty dumbstruck. An assistant bolts in and out before they can respond to her presence.

Cas, per usual, is first to brush off the surprise and react, grabbing a packet and dragging Dean away from the makeshift backyard drag catwalk.

“Oh, and,” Gabriel peeks from the door, “loser this round goes home. There’s no elimination.”

By the time the other teams gather their wits Lucifer is railing about preferential treatment and bias even though he is just as connected to Gabriel as Dean or Castiel themselves. “You’ve got to be shitting me. A drag show followed by religious texts as literature? This challenge was _created_ for Dean and Castiel!” His bitching slows as he and Lisa leave to study. Dean just rolled his eyes.

“They didn’t know we’d make it this far. I bet there’s been challenges designed to favor contestants this entire time, regardless if they actually make it to them,” Cas shrugged.

Of course, the challenge had gone spectacularly awry. Where Dean and Castiel worked well together, Lucifer and Lisa and Charlie and Cassie didn’t have the same connection. Or expertise, in the case of the challenge. Lucifer was right in one sense – this challenge was squarely theirs and they defeated the other teams by a mile. Cassie and Charlie were eliminated by a small margin, fumbling over a Book of Judges question and ending the tie breaker when Lucifer managed to recall – frankly, guess – an obscure factoid about ancient origin stories.

<<<>>> 

It’s harder than Lisa anticipated to break up the gay power couple. Cassie had taken up most of the planning but rumors of a showmance just hadn’t been enough. She’d just have to do something else. She sighed. “Lucifer, seriously, It’s not working!”

“Then keep trying. There’s only one challenge left.”

<<<>>> 

“Lisa is up to something,” Dean said, reclining back on their bed, eyes at half-mast.

“Yes. I don’t trust her, especially after the rumors,” Castiel replies, kneeling over Dean and rubbing his shoulders. They fall silent as Lisa’s voice carries from the study.

“…not working!”

“Keep…one…left.”


	11. Episode Eight: Finale

“This is it.” Gabriel’s voice comes over a shot of the mansion where Dean, Castiel, Lucifer, and Lisa all stand together. The camera zooms in as they step to opposite sides of the platform stage and Gabe walks between them, huge grin plastered on his face.

“Welcome to the final episode of Beauty and the Geek! As always, I’m your host Gabriel Angelus. We’re down to the final two teams, Castiel and Dean and Lucifer and Lisa. Which team will win the grand prize?”

Gabriel turns to Castiel and Dean. “In sticking with tradition of the show, the final challenge is how well you know your partner. Castiel, how old is Dean?”

“Twenty-eight.”

“Correct. Lucifer, how old is Lisa?”

Lucifer shows a moment of blind panic before schooling his expression. “Twenty-seven.”

“That is correct. Lisa, what is Lucifer’s profession?”

Lisa looks pensive for a moment. “He’s a law student.”

“Correct. Dean, what does Castiel do for a living?”

“He teaches theology at the university level.”

“Correct. Castiel, what is Dean’s little brother studying in college?”

“Sam is studying law.”

“Correct,” Gabriel nods approvingly before turning back to the figeting pair. “Lisa, what is Lucifer’s brother Michael’s profession?”

“Marketing?” She guesses.

“I’m sorry. Michael is the CFO of our channel’s parent company. Dean, what does Castiel wish he could do more often in his free time?”

“Bee keep.”

“Correct. Lisa, what is Lucifer’s favorite pastime?”

“Drinking?”

“Not a bad answer, but I’m sorry. It’s singing. Castiel, what did Dean want to be when he grew up, as a child?”

“Fireman.” Castiel can’t fight the smile. “He could still change professions.”

“I like being an EMT, Cas,” it’s obvious they’ve had this discussion before.

Gabriel coughs lightly and they blush. He turns to the camera and smiles, holding his hands out. The two are positively grinning. “Dean and Castiel, with that correct answer you two have won Beauty and the Geek season six!”


	12. Episode Nine: Epilogue

The beauties, all glammed up, are all crowded in on tiered seating reminiscent of theater seats, Gabriel standing in the center with a positively wicked grin on his face and twix bar in hand. 

 "Welcome to the final episode of Beauty and the Geek!" He crows and takes a huge bite of the candy as the screen cuts of the show logo. Video clips begin a few seconds.

 The first clip shows the beauties laying in the sun at the pool while the geeks, specifically Castiel and Lucifer, walk out onto the lawn to introduce themselves. The video focuses on Dean's and Lisa's reactions to their respective partners. 

 The next clip cuts to the beauties cooking and the geeks decorating. There's a smattering of pained giggles from the beauties present. The camera zooms in on Dean and Jo working in tandem in the kitchen, and then cuts to Lisa at the grill. There's a few quick shots of Meg and Cassie burning their first attempts.

 It's quickly followed by a shot of Castiel fighting with the bee clock in his room, trying to get it to stay in place. Lucifer just looks unimpressed by the room he has created, but a smug smile replaces it when he sees the other geeks' attempts.

 The recap cuts back to the live broadcast where Gabriel has taken a seat and the geeks begin to file into the room, sitting by their respective partners (or for those eliminated early and never partnered up, alone). 

 "Dean, you and Jo conspired to win the first challenge."

 "No one said that there was a rule against working with your fellow beauty to get to the next stage. It was a calculated risk, and Jo and I have always worked well together in the kitchen." Dean's smile is in full charming mode, arm draped loosely around Cas' shoulder. "We knew we had to wow the geeks so we did what we do best when it comes to meal prep."

 "Castiel, your room was... Austere."

 Castiel shrugs, almost dislodging Dean's arm. "I like plain with statement pieces that make me happy." Dean soothingly pats his arm, tightening his hold. Cas can't fight the smile he shoots in Dean's direction. 

 Gabe winks at the audience and the video feed returns to recaps, cutting ahead to the paintball survival game. 

 "Charlie, you ended up winning against two people while your partner took herself out," Gabriel begins and takes a bite of twix for... Well, with Gabe no one really knows what he is pausing for. "Strong comeback from a mediocre start."

 "I LARP. It's kind of in my wheelhouse to win at a game of live action role play, but with guns instead of swords. I only wish I had a machine gun instead of a sniper." She grins, winking at Cassie who just rolls her eyes. "It helps that I'm prepared in my real life for a zombie invasion."

 The feed cuts to the drag show and the crowd roars in laughter as Lucifer struts onto the stage in his devil outfit, wings fanned out. 

 "So, Lucifer, you said the challenge was rigged in the LGBT contestants favor, yet you look pretty graceful strutting your stuff to _Bitchy_." At that, Lucifer has the grace to look a little embarrassed. 

 "I may have... Over reacted a little. A drag show seemed entirely in their favor, given that it's such a hallmark of LGBT history and current culture, and threw a fit. I've never done drag but I had some experience in heels before, it only took Lisa to reteach me how to walk in them to return to some semblance of grace. You'll remember I fell not long after that clip."

 The crowd roars in laughter as the editors throw the clip of Lucifer stumbling on the stage, only to catch himself on the stripper pole, gracelessly. 

 Gabriel is howling as he watches the scene unfold again, wiping away tears as the broadcast cuts to various scenes of Dean and Castiel's evolving relationship, beginning with the audio of Cas walking in on Dean in the shower.

 "I'm sorry, I was told you're out!" Booms across the room and the two on the video turn a lovely shade of red as the feed returns to a rolling Gabriel (and many of the cast and crew, and live audience of course). 

 Charlie pipes up, "people started shipping you guys so hard after that scene aired. You know it sounded like you meant he was out...  out. Like closet out."

 When Gabriel's finally regained the composure to speak, he grins and wipes at his eyes. "Whew was that ever a boost to our viewership. Dean and Cas, lukewarm at best to lovers!"

 The feed shows them in various competitions and during relaxing periods, going from cold and apart to growing closer and eventually their progression to open affection. Of course, the studio had to focus on Dean's own green eyed monster, and the feed cut to Dean watching -- or looking more like he's glaring the competition down -- Cas get numbers from attractive men and women.

 And Gabriel's howling again by the end of the clip. "Oh Dean-O, how you and Cas stayed oblivious to your mutual attraction baffles me and your most loyal fans.

 "So, what's going on in your lives? Krissy?" Gabriel's turned to face each geek and beauty individually. 

 “I’m actually starting an internship soon.”

 “Cole?”

 “I just started a new security gig.”

 “Ruby?”

 “I’m about to graduate college.”

 “Cassie?”

 “I’ve been using my appearance on this show as a launching point for my new media news show. It’s really taken off in the last few months.”

 “Lilith?”

 “I’m still partying. Hard.”

 “Meg?”

 “I’m handling more duties at my job than I have time for, but isn’t that how it always goes?”

 “Jo?”

 “Still with mom at the roadhouse. We’ve had to hire extra help with the extra publicity the show has given us.”

 "Anna?”

 “Since Dr. Sexy MD has wrapped, I’ve been going to various casting auditions. I’ve signed a few contracts, but I can’t spoil anything yet!”

 “Bela?”

 “Like I said coming into the show, I’ve expanded my business nearly quadruple-fold by expanding into America and Canada with the help of the show.”

 “Becky?”

 “I’m writing for my favorite show, about two---!”

 “Good to hear, Becky,” Gabriel cuts her off, sympathetically patting her shoulder. “Charlie?”

 “One of the major tech corporations is working with a certain three-letter agency and they picked me up to work for them. Obviously, that’s all I can say.”

 “Ash?”

 “I’m workin’ at the roadhouse now.”

 “Cyrus?”

 “I’m officially out of residency since I only had a few months left when the show was taping and I left so early on.”

 “Good from the unfortunate circumstances,” Gabriel nods sagely, turning to the next geek. “Chuck?”

 “I sold, uh, a couple book-movie deals. Mostly thanks to the show.”

 “Samandriel?”

 “Family drama and work, mostly,” Alfie remarks remarkably straight-faced.

 “Ed?”

 “We’ve produced another season of Ghost Facers. I also have a book deal in the works.”

 “Kevin?”

 “I’m officially a junior in college now and busier than ever.”

 “Lucifer?”

 “I’m nearing the end of law school,” the man shrugs. “I have a few offers standing.”

...

 "Dean and Castiel, you two have been cozy all evening. What's been up in your necks of the woods?"

 "Castiel and I have plans to move in together," Dean can't fight the smile. "We just needed the time to figure out if I was going to him or he was coming to Cali."

 "So,whereare you two going to be nesting?"

 "Palo Alto," Cas replies with a genuine smile. "I got an offer from Stanford."

 "So, loves still in the air?"

 "Absolutely. We are crazy for each other," Dean replies, pulling the other man closer and resting a fond kiss to his disheveled hair. 

"I hear there's more love on the air, did Dean and Castiel bring in cupid without saying anything?" Gabriel turns to Charlie and Cassie. "news is that you two have been seen together. On dates."

 "Yep, but we are still seeing if we are meant to be," Charlie replies with an easy grin and Cassie squeezes her thigh gently. "We are taking things slow."

 "Yeah, we want to get to know each other outside of the show. Let that be in the past." Cassie replies and leans against Charlie. 

 

 

 _SIX MONTHS LATER_.

 Dean's late. Castiel rolls his eyes as his Greek Adonis of a boyfriend runs up the hill to him, panting as he sets a basket down on the grassy hillside and kneels by Cas. "I'm sorry I'm late. It was busy during shift handover."

 "It's fine, Dean," Cas replies and means it, pressing a kiss to the supple, kissable lips he loves so much.  He's not angry, never really was. He was worried, more than anything, else truthfully. "Just... Call me when youre going to be late?"

 "I'm sorry and I'll do better about it, babe," Dean replies quietly, straddling Cas' lap and wrapping his arms around his broad shoulders. "I brought us dinner, instead of just deserts."

 Castiel can't fight the smile as he watches Dean lean over to open the basket, gloriously delicious smells wafting over them. He's brought up short when Dean slides off of his lap and kneels in the dying grass, pulling out a black box. 

 "You know, I had this... Feeling the first time we met, when you introduced yourself." Castiel's not sure where the speech is going, but his eyes are welling up because he's got an idea what his boyfriend is about to ask. "I spoke up the second you left, calling Dibs on you as my partner.

 "We didn't really get along all that well in the beginning. I regret not just outright telling you that I was, and still am, attracted to you. Maybe we would have had less arguments or something.

 "It wasn't until I saw you getting numbers from both guys and gals, and getting a lot of them, that I wanted to say something. The months we've been together have been the best of my life." Dean's blushing scarlet and it's the most beautiful thing Cas has ever seen. Dean's filling that list rapidly, now that Cas thinks about it.

 "So, Cas, will you do me the honor of being my husband?" Cas can't speak,just nods his head and pulls the bumbling idiot close and then they're kissing. 

_End._

 

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and remember to check me out at my [ TUMBLR](https://dezziebelle.tumblr.com) and the artist at her [TUMBLR](https://reaperlove77.tumblr.com/) and her [AO3!](http://archiveofourown.org/users/reaperlove/works)
> 
> If you enjoyed this fic, I'd appreciate it if you left a comment and/or kudos <3 They are always appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading~ Come see me at [My Tumblr!](dezziebelle.tumblr.com)


End file.
